Hey Amy
First, I strongly urge you to get these books "Hope and Help For Your Nerves" by Claire Weekes, then is you can "Simple Effective Treatment of Agrophobia" by Claire Weekes.
On page 54 of "Hope and Help For Your Nerves", I found my way of coping with this choking phobia. Here it is:
Dr Weekes said she keep biscuits (crackers whatever) in her desk. She gives one to the patient and tells them to chew it.
The patient says "I cant swallow that I will choke!'
Dr Weekes says "I did not tell you to [b]swallow[/b] it I asked you to [b]chew[/b]it"
When I thought about that paragraph, a light bulb, dim as it is, went off over my head! Wow, chew it, dont think about swallowing.
So what I do is this. I read a newspaper, play a game on the computer, watch TV, [b]whatever[/b]it takes to [i]occupy my mind[/i]. I even use a walkman and play a sub-liminal tape while I am doing the above. Then I just chew whatever it is I am eating. I started out with soft foods, milkshakes, protein drinks whatever. After a while I moved to soup, baby food.
Now I can eat alot of stuff. Occasionally I have a "set back" and will put away my food until I can calm down. But I always go back later and am able to eat.
I [b]know[/b] how hard this is, believe me. I wish I could sit beside you and help you do this. I know your fustration and I know how it feels to be so **** hungry and unable to eat.
But I also know you can do this, baby steps. One hour at a time. Try to keep relaxed and distracted. It can work.
Sending more prayers, keep me posted please.