Ron you could not have expressed better how I felt last night: "after every milestone however small the first thing that would happen to me was a letdown. It's just a kind of crummy no fun feeling inside". That no fun feeling was all over me! One work week smoke-free feels so good - and yet...My husband and stepdaughter are both away and Friday night arrived with me alone, bored and at loose ends. Didn't realize before how much I used smoking to fill a void. How about that! Not smoking has not created the void, it was there all along! Thinking about that is keeping me busy today.
Sparky sometimes it's one minute at a time. Don't try to take the demon on head to head. You can't beat the demon. You will not take on the demon is like taking on the devil and believing you will end up the bigger a**hole in the end. You won't. The same way you're never one up God. Avoid the demon. Give it no airtime. Don't engage it in conversation.
Charm, I am feeling much better. Peteg, oh I am so glad that you are still with us Looks like there are several of us starting all over again. We all know how to quit, but let's stay quit, ok??? This is not any fun living a yo-yo life. I am tried of people saying oh you are smoking again or you have quit AGAIN. Let's get this done one day at a time, ok????
Jason the power of this site is what keeps me going. I may mess up, but I owe so much to the people here and I am going to be a non-smoker come hell or high water.
Oh Sparky, you are SO singing my song. Here I am, back again, quit meter (or freedom thingy) reset for maybe the 5th or 6th time since I first joined back in 2005, but we're hanging in there. (You far better than I, but we're both here.) Me, my quit date is entering the yo-yo world olympics. TS Elliott is credited with saying, "For us there is only the trying; the rest is not our business." My family and colleagues will be the first to assert that I am very trying, indeed. I wasn't going to say anything until I had gone a week (again), but you brought me from the shadows. Hang in there with me.
Thanks Lainey Charm, I am hanging in there. I will not let you down. Ron, what a sweetheart!! I haven't left . You keep throwing up my history at me, and I don't want you to have to that again.. I know this is a dangerous time for me, but I just can't loose this one.
First off you just finished Heck Week so give yourself a big pat on the back and celebrate for what you have done. Second is after every milestone however small the first thing that would happen to me was a letdown. It's just a kind of crummy no fun feeling inside and it usually only lasts for a short period of time. Thirdly smoking has always been used as a way to wipe out the feeling that are going on inside of us. We tend to not like the feelings that are negative in nature or aspects of ourself we don't like. So smoking was one of the ways we would cope by just numbing ourselves. Good news is if you can just let those crummy feelings be (neither bad nor good) and don't try to resist them then they just kind of go away after a while. It's almost like they just want to be heard, and because of our long smoking histories we never really learned to do this correctly. You look a babies and they just cry when need be, not a problem right. Posting is actually good because it's the first step to acknowledging your feeling as real and not feeling you are wrong or a burden for sharing them. Quitting smoking can be such a healing in so many ways so try to see it as that. Hope I didn't lose you:)))). Ron
Hi Sparky! One hour at a time, if need be! Use your tools! Change your routine and get a glass of ice water. Hang in there! You gotta be stronger than the demon! Don't let him win! YOU are the one in control - not him!