Quit Meter
$68,680.50
Amount Saved
Quit Meter
Days: 1417 Hours: 4
Minutes: 0 Seconds: 39
Life Gained
Quit Meter
6541
Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter
196,230
Cigarettes Not Smoked
Quit Meter
$23,587.00
Amount Saved
Quit Meter
Days: 638 Hours: 1
Minutes: 59 Seconds: 38
Life Gained
Quit Meter
4580
Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter
91,600
Cigarettes Not Smoked
Quit Meter
$68,680.50
Amount Saved
Quit Meter
Days: 1417 Hours: 4
Minutes: 0 Seconds: 39
Life Gained
Quit Meter
6541
Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter
196,230
Cigarettes Not Smoked
For years I kept my sadness in my top
pocket. I did it so much that even after years of cessation when I am
confronted by an unsettling situation my right hand instinctively wanders
there. It is as if I am an amputee who still senses the presence of a
missing limb. But I am a non-smoker and as such that pocket is
empty. My reflective action is futile, I no longer carry my sadness in my
top pocket, I carry it instead in my heart. It is in the heart and its sister soul
that lays the path to cessation. My body is no longer addicted to smoking, but
the impulses that drove me to adopt the suicidal smoking path still exist as
parts of the being I call me.
For many of us (perhaps not all), smoking was a
way of diminishing the external appearance of the internal struggle that goes
on in all human souls. It elevated our moods, so that whatever discord raged
within did not reach the surface. It made everything “seem” all
right. But deep within our center of reason, we knew that everything was
not all right because the naked truth was that with each puff we were killing
ourselves. In many ways we were killing the vessel in order to avoid
experiencing the soul.
For me cessation is about acceptance.
Accepting that in many ways we are imperfect creatures searching for a perfect
path. We become angry sometimes, we have moments of sadness, we often
experience frustration, and we are many times alone. But we must not
allow these temporary situations to drive us to destructive behaviors such as
the one we all share. Instead we should laugh and understand that we are
all flawed. And somewhere in our limited nature is the ability to look
out with wide wonder at the world that makes up our reality.
Quit Meter
$68,680.50
Amount Saved
Quit Meter
Days: 1417 Hours: 4
Minutes: 0 Seconds: 39
Life Gained
Quit Meter
6541
Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter
196,230
Cigarettes Not Smoked