A few days ago we asked you to take notice and keep track of your communication style. Now that you’ve identified your problem areas and patterns, we will now begin exploring the art of assertive communication. This skill is also helpful if you are currently struggling with anger management.
If you’re willing to try to experiment with being more assertive, here are some strategies to help you get started:
Perspective taking
In order to be more assertive in your personal and professional relationships, you’re going to have to get better at understanding where they might be coming from. In order to get better at taking the other person’ perspective you might start by asking yourself these questions:
• What could this situation look like from his/her perspective?
• What does she/he want or need from me in this situation?
• What is he/she getting from me in this situation?
• How can I attend to his/her needs in this situation?
Take a time-out
When you start to feel angry, agree to take a time-out to cool down. Taking a break from the situation will also give you time to think about, identify problems in communication, do some perspective taking and begin brainstorming solutions.
For important discussions, try to plan them at a time where you and the other person involved are likely to be in a relaxed, open state and frame of mind.
Ask questions
Good communicators ask a lot of questions. Instead of trying to mind read, ask the person what they need, want or how they feel about the situation at hand. Good communicators ask for feedback about how what they say and do affect others.
Listen
Asking questions is great but you also have to really listen to the answers you receive and keep asking and listening until you think you understand what they need or want to the best of your reasoning.
We now invite our members to ask questions and/or post comments!
Ashley, Health Educator
