I think I'm lucky in a lot of ways in that I'm more motivated and driven than the average person. I'm not sure why but I had a therapy session Thursday and my newest therapist had mentioned that she thought I was more motivated than anyone she has ever worked with..
Hell I got a BA while using cocaine daily...I'm motivated in the worst kind of way. I know what I want and I know I will achieve it; I just hope beyond hope that it will not mean yet another daily uphill battle. I'm just kind of getting tired of fighting against myself to get to where I want to be.
I've been working on meeting and connecting with new people who have healthier lifestyles and have found some small successes in the way that I was able to walk right past a favourite bar with 180$ in my pocket. I stopped and talked to a fundraiser in the street for 2 hours instead of going into the bar... I took a subway 3/4 of the way across town to walk around and talk to a fundraiser then go home lol... but I got out and I socialized.. I saved 180$ and stayed sober..
Further to your question... I have been dealing with the stresses and the dreams for a great many years now, they do not get easier... the only thing that changes with time is the ease of saying NO. The longer I'm drug/cigarette free the easier it is to say no to using or lighting up... even with the dreams I can still say no.. but the dreams are a constant reminder of my weakness which is like a kick in teeth to start with.. My worst enemy is my own ego.. and my own sense of strength ... the dreams remind me that I'm not as strong or capable as I like to think I am... because I have obviously screwed up in the past... super frustrating ...
This is common. When you did drugs or smoked in the past it triggered the reward system in your brain. Now that you have quit drinking (which also triggers the reward system) your brain is asking for the reward system to be activited in the other ways it is used to. As I am sure you know, quitting drinking as with quitting drugs and smoking, is not just about fighting the physical addiction; it is a complete lifestyle change. The key now is to find other ways to reward yourself so that your brain no longer "thinks" it is missing out. This will take time and practice but with work it will get easier. Be sure you keep engaging in pleasant activities and actvities that help you to feel accomplished or productive. Be sure to reward yourself and celebrate for staying alcohol free and for reaching other goals. What are some new ways you can reward yourself?
In regards to the dreams, they are very common as well. They also can occur at any time. It is impossible to control your dreams but what you can change is how you look at them. Some people who have these dreams appreciate them as a reminder that being drug, alcohol and/or smoke free is so important to them. How can you look at these dreams in a different more positive way? What can you learn from them?
I have a general question for anyone who has had the experience.
I am wondering if quitting and staying off of alcohol has the same side effects that quitting other substances does. By this what I mean is that on a continual basis I fight urges to smoke cigarettes, on at least a weekly basis I find myself fighting urges to buy cocaine and get stoned. I have been clean (off drugs) for more than 5 years, and today I'm 8 months smoke-free. A couple times a month (down from nightly at the start) I'll have what I call a 'dope dream' in which I'm buying and using drugs and will normally wake up in a cold sweat frantically feeling around the bed for the needle ... thinking that if my bf finds it he'll be pissed off.... all the while it was just a dream... eventually I come back to reality and flip around for a few hours and hopefully get back to sleep.... in these dreams I'm usually smoking as well.
I guess I really kind of hope that 'not drinking' will be the hardest part of quitting. I don't want to go through any more personally abusive dreams and demoralizing urges. I thought about removing the 'urges' via medications that the doctor can prescribe that make you REALLY sick if you drink (if it makes me sick it will make it easier to stop in the short term and learn to do different things rather than drinking...), but after talking to a doctor they have decided they will not prescribe me any medications because of a pre-existing neurological condition. There is no patch, or shot I can take to ease the urges
Has anyone else here successfully kicked another habit in addition to the drink? Do the withdrawals and urges just compound onto each other or is it a different animal entirely when you quit drinking? I'm already fighting a lot of demons and I worry about the strength of my character and my ability to control myself if I add additional stress to my self control which is already stretched thin.
I can almost picture the new dope dreams now where I'm doing drugs with a cigarette hangin from my mouth ashing into an empty beer bottle... I realize that as individuals we have little or no control over the content of our dreams .. but if there is anything anyone can suggest to help ease this phenomenon I'm all ears.....
