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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

Medlemsgruppe rygning

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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can't take the GUILT :(


for 19 år siden 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks a lot everyone, I really appreciate your help and prespective. I suspect many of us a similar parents- especially mothers.
for 19 år siden 0 295 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey Alison have you tried talking to your mom about the way you feel if you havnt and i know it sounds scary why dont you pick a time and a place when you could be alone with your mom and tell her how your feeling but without blaming her even if it is her fault cause she might get defensive if she thinks your blaming her.Then you will know that you've done what you can to resolve those feelings and move on guilt free :) Lulu..
for 19 år siden 0 222 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wow - we must be sisters! ;p My mom always does these things as well. She is huge on giving the guilt trip thing! My advice to you is to not play the game. Do what is best for you and your family. Stay where you want to stay. You are an adult - don't play her game. The longer you play into it, the longer she will do this to you. You cannot be responsible for her reactions. If she chooses to react by being offended and not try to understand your families needs, then that is her choice. You cannot be held responsible for that.
for 19 år siden 0 48 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Your mom sounds a lot like mine, she also cuts out all the clippings of accidents and whenever someone dies that she knows. She has always told me how to dress my children, where I should and shouldn't go and still does to this day and I am 44. As far as guilt I would not feel guilty, I'm sure your mother knows you love her, but you need this time with your family. My mother, as yours, would do anything for me, but I have to take care of myself and my family first in order to be there for her or anyone else. I think you should go and enjoy yourself and not worry or feel guilty, your mother will be fine. It's so amazing, she sounds exactly like my mother, so I can understand the guilt, I think sometimes my mother intentionally makes me feel guilty to get her way, in fact I know she does, and she usually does end up getting her way, within reason. Go, have a wonderful time, do what you enjoy doing with your family, take care of yourself and I honestly would not feel guilty about this. Becky
for 19 år siden 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Here's the deal, my mom is very well intentioned person, she has helped me a lot. On the other hand she is a huge worrier and has been a big part of my anxiety problems. From when I was kid to my kids today. She cuts out newspaper articles constantly of bizzare causes of people's death to fliping out if my kids have a bleeding nose, to going out without suntan lotion, the carseats they sit in, and on and on (I could go on for a long time). She obviously cares, but causes me a lot of stress. Her comments can easily flip me into panic mode. She also tends to drink a little bit too much at dinner time and typically becomes very emotionally demanding. My mom isn't a big fan of church people, ironically my family goes to church regularly. If my kids want to say grace at dinner, it's a little awkward. She expects me to sit and make small talk or complain about other people the entire night. She actually got mad at me last week when I went read a book in my room late at night (after I cleaned the kitchen and play scrabble for hours with her!) :mad: So next week ,instead of spending a week at her cottage with my husband and kids, we are choosing to use a distant relatives cottage (far away from her). I am feeling really bad about this because my mom would do anything for me. We typically spend a lot of time with her at her cottage on the weekends, but I can't handle a whole week. It's a very obvious insult to her because her cottage is the lap of luxury and we be staying in a little more 'rustic' one. I just really want a week alone with my own family. A week to think and read. As I am the youngest of 3, somehow my mom is very emotionally dependent on me, plus I am the only one with kids. I feel like her emotional well being is somehow my responsibilty. So here's my questions and please honestly reply. If you were me: (a) what would you do? (b) would you feel guilty? :quest: :quest: :quest:

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