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The Patchwork Quilt of Addiction

Timbo637

2025-06-29 5:59 PM

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What food is actually considered Healthy..?

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Health Educators or Moderators missing?

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2025-03-03 11:16 AM

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2025-02-20 12:27 PM

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Moderate Drinkers, Hard Drinker and the the Real Alkie


for 12 år siden 0 272 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm with foxman in that I identify myself as a "real alcoholic".   I keep an on-line journal, and it's about 2002 where I started writing that I had a problem with drinking and that I really should quit.   It's also about then that I started having withdrawal symptoms.   I have lots of entries where I wrote that I'd quit this weekend, but I never made it to Sun. - couldn't get through the shakes.    I don't have a lot of regrets about my life, but this is one of them, that I didn't get help when I first acknowledged that I had a problem.   But I didn't really think it was that big a problem.   See I come from a long line of heavy drinkers / alcoholics who worked hard / partied hard.   I had a good job and was handling it ok.    Needless to say my drinking got worse and in 2005 I had my first withdrawal seizure, only I didn't know it was withdrawal at the time - only in hindsight do I recognize it.    I was rushed to the ER where I got checked over (I'd been at a work function when I had the seizure) and the sales manager came to the ER with me.   The Dr. asked me how many drinks I'd had - I lied and said 3,  sure I'd had 3 in public but I'd had a few more in my room before going down to the function.   The Dr. said well 3 drinks probably isn't enough to throw you, and the sales manager chipped in Hell 20 drinks isn't enough to throw her.   And I thought 'Oh **** they know"    The industry I was in at the time was pretty hardwork/ hardparty and there was always a hospitality suite with a lot of free booze.   The Dr. told me it would probably be a good idea to not drink for a couple of days and go in for a complete checkup with my family Dr. when I got home.   I didn't drink for 24 hours.   But the next day I said a few couldn't hurt, so I pored myself a large whisky in my hotel room.   And then I had a moment, when it's like you're kind of looking at your life for what it really is, and I realized that I was once again alone in a hotel room drinking a lot after a Dr. specifically told me not to drink.   It took me another 10 days to work up the nerve to call AA.   I went to AA sporadically but didn't really try to follow the steps and and I was really resistang to the whole higher power concept.   I still thought I could figure it out on my own.   I'd have sober periods, but then I'd relapse and drink for a couple of weeks, and eventually I just stopped going to AA meetings altogether.   That started the worst 9 month period of my life.   I started drinking more and more every night to the point that I was up to 750 ml of hard liquor a night.   Then I'd wake up (come to) at 3 in the morning needing a drink, then I'd need a couple more drinks at 5 am to stop the shaking so that I could go into work.    It would take me most of the morning to sober up a bit, all the while hoping that nobody would notice that I was drunk,   Then I'd eat a huge lunch because I never would have eaten the night before - too busy drinking.   then around 4 pm my hands would start to shake and I'd race home after work stopping only at the liquor store, so that I could have my 5 pm drink.  I had to hold it with both hands so I wouldn't spill it.   I was killing myself and I was miserable.    Finally one day in July 2006 I realized I couldn't keep on doing it.   So I just waked into the head of HR's office and said, "i've got a really bad drinking problem, and I need time off to deal with it."   My intent was to go for an assessment at my psych hospital and go to whatever program they recommended.    Instead my company shipped me off to the rehab that they sent all employees with drink
for 12 år siden 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for sharing so honestly Foxman!

Ashley, Health Educator
for 12 år siden 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
About a year earlier prior to stepping my foot in AA, i was like everybody had that hope that I could control my drinking and also lead a functioning life. But time came when my wife started nagging. So we went to a counselor. Though she, out right didn't qualify me as an alcoholic, she categorized me as a border line alcoholic (LOL with all my false input). When challenged by her, I stayed without booze for exactly the time she asked me, which a month. Then went back to the old ways and after few visits we stopped going back for counseling. Fast forward few months, One afternoon, I was not able to walk through a document I authored for reviewing. (I will leave for home in the pretext of taking on meetings from home) By that time I was drinking beer during the day, while at work (which I swore will not do). So that scared me, so went to a shrink. The kind doctor looking at my family history, didn't not subscribe me Antibuse (My brother died drinking while on Anitbuse) so he recommended a spiritual solution. 

Even in AA I was lost, I never had an idea what alcoholism is. Even after reading the big book, didn't make sense to me. Only after listening to the workshops, the message in the book came to life. My befogged mind couldn't comprehend this initially. And after listening to those workshops and also working with a sponsor I could relate to the experience of mine with what is illustrated in the book. 
Looking at my drinking pattern and the state of my being on forced sobriety I concluded that I am alcoholic. To be an alcoholic all I have see is:

Did I obsess about alcohol?  (Check)
After I took 1 drink, did I experience the phenomenon of Craving? Initially sporadically but end of my drinking career very often. (Check)
Was I restless, irritable and discontented? Yes, I was miserable and when we went on vacation, my wife would ask me to drink so she could have fun. (Check)

To be an alcoholic we don't have to have DUIs, spent time in Jail and all the other consequences. These were all the Yets, I was just lucky, thats all.

Today, I don't obsess about alcohol and pretty sane person (most of the time, LOL). So I don't have to worry about the physical craving cos I don't take that 1st drink. And my motto is to be of maximum use for others. 


for 12 år siden 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for posting Foxman.
 
Only if you are comfortable sharing, when were you able to recognize that you were an alcoholic? What were the tell tale signs for you?
Ashley, Health Educator
for 12 år siden 0 409 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Very interesting and vivid descriptions. Thanks, foxman.
for 12 år siden 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take it or leave it alone.

Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.

But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink.

Here is a fellow who has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking. He is a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills, and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees. He is the fellow who goes to bed so intoxicated he ought to sleep the clock around. Yet early next morning he searches madly for the bottle he misplace the night before. If he can afford it, he may have liquor concealed all over his house to be certain no one gets his entire supply away from him to throw down the wastepipe. As matters grow worse, he begins to use a combination of high-powered sedative and liquor to quiet his nerves so he can go to work. Then comes the day when he simply cannot make it and gets drunk all over again. Perhaps he goes to a doctor who gives him morphine or some sedative with which to taper off. Then he begins to appear at hospitals and sanitariums.

This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. But this description should identify him roughly.

Alcoholics Anonymous


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