Hello,
Tomorrow I turn 27, and I've reached an interesting point in my life. Tonight I will be graduating my 10 week re-hab program for the second time. Even though I had some f*ck ups, I was still able to learn and retain crucial information shared. My battle to become sober started when I was 21. It's been a journey through hell, but I'm appreciative of it to say the least. I'm finding I am able to view the world and life in a completely different context. I guess when you go from one side of the spectrum (no confindence, inflicting physical pain, feeling worthless with no direction, suicidal and hopeless) to feeling comfortable being in your own skin, motivated to continue healing and growing. It's like a revelation. Although my genetic make-up isn't perfect, I can now see the potential I have to succeed in almost anything. If I stop beating myself down, then I can continue to grow.
I'm starting to find out who I truly am, and I like the person I am. I never gave myself enough credit because I was so busy distracted trying to please others as I never felt like I was anyone. My heart feels for all who have to deal with addictions. From my own opinion, majority of the outside world criticizes and makes it out to be a moral choice. If others could only truly see how an addict lives, feels and gets through their days, then that would truly shed some light.
I give everyone trying, working and motivated to heal a big *high five* It's quite easy to feel alone, as if no one out there cares, but they do. When walking through fog, the directions can be all over the place, but when the fog starts to settle and the suns rays break through, that's when things begin to make sense. Hang in there everyone!
Kind Regards,
- PjH
