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for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Junebug,

Thank you for sharing this with us Junebug. Printing off the paper and keeping it with you as a reminder is a great idea.

As painful as this realization was it sounds like it was a very important one. Good for you for doing all the work it took to get here. You are doing fantastic at day 11.

Just keep fighting.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 108

Thank you so much Sian that made me smile i really appreciate it .I am doing what i can to stay away from any drink. and now have those entries as well . a reminder of why I am sober . thank you for your reply.

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 100

Junebug, you're still young! And you're turning your life in a new direction now - stringing these days together is an accomplishment, for a start. But also, a pretty big deal for your mind and body to adjust to (like reality, come to that!) so be kind to yourself. Just keep doing whatever it takes to resist the craving, we're all here for you.

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 108

Thank you for replying sharing that foxman . I am reading th BB now but truthfully i will have to read it again . i am sober and reality is setting in . feelings i have ran from emotions fears etc.so i feel like my brain isnt fully absorbing it. After reading all my past diary entries i just truthfully am feeling low. how could i have possible drank after those nights ? do i really dislike myself that much? but no its im an an alcoholic i am , after the first drink obsession of drinking sets in and i just want to get drunk and it is the hardest thing to stop . i cant think about life with out alcohol (although i see its possible) truthfully i feel so down that i have done this for over 15years . I will be 34 soon and i look back at what i have accomplished other then black outs and messing up.and now i feel like i am feeling sorry for myself ...ahhhh i need to learn to control and deal with my emotions and feelings. sorry if i am scattered its been like this for the last 11 days. But yes those entries really really opened a door today.

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1562

That is a very honest appraisal Junebug. You could easily conclude the powerlessness and unmanageability the book called Alcoholics Anonymous talks about.

Here is a paragraph where it talks about where our will power is completely does not exist and we end up taking that 1st drink:

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 108

Hello everyone

After reading some posts here today I decided to go through my Diary results and entries and seeing as I started back here in 2010 I wanted to read my past entries and wow ,lf there is any doubt about me having an issue with alcohol that is gone as of now. I have read my entries and same old pattern, Got hammered , embarrassed myself one way or another , started fights and arguments , tons of black outs and of course the whole emotional hang over ...guilt ,shame, crying ...vowing that i will not drink again.I feel so scared right now as its day 11 and seeing as i have gone through this cycle for so long. I have decided to print it and carry it with me to remind me why i am sober..so when i get an urge i will take it out and read it. what an eye opener .

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