Hi Olivia,
Thank you for coming on here and sharing your DUI story, it helps others to read your experience. Also reading of your fear of life without alcohol. I think that feeling is universal and helpful when you read someone else saying they feel that way.
MK seems smart and perceptive and I think reflects this site about supporting you with any decision you come to, whatever it is. That is what I love about this place. People just support you! They offer encouragement and I will tell you your DUI could have easily been millions of us! Millions.
I was pulled over about a month ago and I KNEW I was going to jail. Driving while under the influence was my norm, I am ashamed to say. Even more shocking to most is that I drink (when I drank) starting in the mornings, b4 work and sometimes throughout the day so for me to get pulled over anytime could be a DUI. Now that's really dumb I know, but true. Even worse, I have no insurance, no registration (tags are current thank goodness) no license, no title and I had been drinking of course. But no, I did not go to jail. Weird? Yep, I'd say. So please give yourself a break and understand you are no worse than anyone and much better than many! Millions of us should have gone to jail that didn't just by dumb luck.
Yes, you are correct when you say you shouldn't have driven while under the influence but please don't beat yourself up about it, you simply got caught and you are great for acknowledging it as a mistake and showing you want to do better and you will.
You are so young and have the opportunity to have a great life ahead of you, this does not have to be a deal breaker. Like someone said just take it one day at a time, know it will not be easy but seek support and be kind to yourself. You can make it through this and as Ashley said it can be your great blessing later on (way later on maybe as you look back), but for now just know you have great support here anytime you need it.
Stay strong and take care,
Siobhan