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Just saying Hello

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 12049

Thank you to everyone for checking in and sharing your experiences and thoughts with us. So many of you have made such great progression. We are proud of each and everyone of you!

Kez, our thoughts are with you. Keep pushing forward and keep posting with us, we are always here for you.

Josie, Health Educator

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 94

Hi TS,

I so appreciate your support and sympathy. I was lucky, in a sense, that it was early on, because I know that it only gets harder as time passes. It's been a good test for my husband and I. He doesn't quite understand my losses of control (that happen when I have given up my control to the alcohol) . And I've had many. I punched a hole in a wall the night of my own wedding for goodness sake. And this in itself actually began as something I was processing in a healthy way. I was actually grateful that I was able to process something real, something sad, without all the noise and alcohol and crap getting in the way. I looked back on the progression of it and I know what went wrong - I saw it coming but I couldn't stop it, and I know where I made the wrong decision. I chose my tried and true friend but as usual it screwed everything up. triggers triggers triggers. I do know that I've changed because of how quickly I rebounded and started to fight... in the past this would have been a free pass for me to absolve myself of all responsibility. When I read what you wrote about me passing, the tears welled up. I'm such a kid still in so many ways and those words made me close my eyes for a second just to let them sink in. So ...... thank you very much TS.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 345

Dear Kez,

I am so very, very sorry to learn of your recent loss. There is no more excruciating pain than to lose your child. Thankfully I have never experienced such agony however witnessed first hand the repercussions of such acute pain when my own mother lost my sister. I sobbed many, many times with her.

Please do not reproach yourself for the manner in which you coped with your loss. For you to have pulled yourself together so quickly is nothing short of remarkable. You passed. I know I would have failed miserably.

Today will be brighter and I’m so glad you are happy again.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 94

Thank you Dave. Your thoughtfulness and input are invaluable to this site. I'm just getting ready for work and feel like a total sac of potatoes....I didn't want to get out of bed.... it's still the depressant effects of far too much alcohol in my system, I suspect, paired with my own disappointment and shame.. But as I know it's time to dust myself off and get back on two feet, I logged on here quickly before the day started and happily saw the support that will help me to keep moving forward. Of course nobody I work with has any idea what's going on in my head, and to know that there is a group of people to come to is such a relief.

I know you're absolutely right, Dave. One mistake (or maybe a few... I'd been drinking too much all week, Sunday was just the peak of it) doesn't necessarily mean "relapse" or doesn't take away the multitude of days being AF. It's hard to see that at this very second, but I know it will get better. It's so hard not to only see everything come crashing down. People on the outside, family, etc. don't tend to say or think anything when I'm happy and doing well (even though I am thankful for it on an almost hourly basis), but they sure do notice when I get hammered and destructive and stupid. Other peoples' reactions tend to help fuel the fire inside my brain. Thank you thank you for reminding me that my thinking is black and white, Dave. When I'm doing well I need to remind myself that that's good enough. I don't need my family to understand how wonderful it feels and that I'm trying and making progress. There are so many people here who understand what that feels like.

I'll end on a positive note. As of last Saturday, I'd had 17 drinks since Thursday but I'd also run 17 kilometers. Some how it seemed like if I could balance the unhealthy with the healthy, I'd be able to keep some sort of strength within my grasp. I'm going to try to keep racking up the kilometers this week while being AF. I guess technically this will be day 2 but yesterday was a blur, so I'm just going to call this day 1 of being happy again.

Have a good day everyone.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Kez,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. As to your drinking episode, you haven't knocked down anything. There is no exact science or right\ wrong way to overcome a drinking problem. Sometimes we take 21(3 weeks) steps forward and 1 step (1 day) backwards. What's starting is how we flip so quickly in that habit of black and white thinking and disregard the previous 21 days of success in favour of 1 day slippage. You've just been though a heart-breaking experience and dealt with it in a way that was familiar and reliable. While it may not have been what you wanted to do maybe finding some balance against the sadness of the situation was what you needed at the time...? We're not perfect. Now you know it didn't work and you can file this in your library of experience of how you don't want to live your life.....for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. We always need to find balance against the stresses in our lives. We're wired to do it. It may not seem like it right now because you're working your way through the mental and physical effects of too much of something that isn't working for you but give it some time. Easier said than done I know. Post lots Kez and share your thoughts and I have no doubt you'll find the support you need. 3 weeks (21 days) from now you're going to feel a lot better and then it will be 42 days and 1 day of intense learning......

All the best,

Dave

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 94

HI Lynn,

Thank you for asking about me, you're right I haven't been on for a while. Things were going really well since I was last on here; we did the summer vacation thing, I found out I was pregnant with my second, I felt really happy and particularly without alcohol. When I was pregnant with my first I hated not being able to drink and I counted the days until I could again. that wasn't the case this time! Anyway after that, the universe gave me what I like to call a "test", and I'm still trying to pass that test. we lost the baby and I said I wouldn't go back to alcohol because life was so much better for those 3 weeks without it, but last night I drank way way way too much and knocked down a lot of what I'd built up. Now it's time to clean up the mess....

I hope that you are doing well Lynn and enjoying your summer.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 94

HI Lynn,

I hope that you are doing well Lynn and enjoying your summer.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 348

Zoey,

Good to hear from you. It sure seems that things are progressing in a positive direction for you. It also seems that telling your husband has been a plus as well.

Continue on your positive path, you are doing great!

Lynn

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 52

Hi Lynn,

How are you doing? I had a good week. Very proud of where I'm heading as I said it's not where I wanna be but I'm on the right road.

I've been here mostly reading. It helps .. I find I want to drink when I get really lonely. I come here....

I overcame the 4 o clock issue and now I have overcome this whole week not to drink alone. If my husband haves a glass of wine. I do also. If not then I don't. It's hard but this is the path I choose and it seems to be working.

That is two things I never thought I could do. The mind is a powerful thing. I play things over and over in my mind and repeat what I want and don't want..

This I admit has been very difficult. I thank god for finally talking to my husband. He is very supportive ..and no hangover in a long time.

One day at a time.

Have a great day all.

Zoey

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 348

I just wanted to check in with everyone to see how they were doing! I am taking some time away but have been checking in from time to time. Welcome to everyone new, as you have seen, you will find a lot of support here.

Kez, I have not seen any posts from you lately...how are things?

Zoey, how are things progressing with you?

Dave, you give so much good advice , help, and support to everyone here. Thank you!

Have a good night everyone!

Lynn

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