Dear Jen, You sound like you did well today! Especially given the fact you had little sleep, it will get easier the more you do it, you sound like you have had a rough go of it and I will pray it gets easier, I am very sorry about your dog. I know what you mean about those flouresent lights, they bother me too, I wear my sunglasses almost constantly now, they are very bright and bothersome and I think it bothers alot of people. Please let us know how tomm goes. I noticed you posted Ruby I have missed you, how are you and I posted you awhile back about your Mom you probably did not get it, how is your MOther doing? is she better I hope? Let me know. Good luck Jen and God bless, Debbie.

Hello everyone! Well, I've done it. Two days @ school! The first day was actually easier than today but certainly not perfect (I wasn't expecting it to be though...) The first half of Monday was actually pretty good but after break, I started to get agitated. I realized I wasn't breathing properly and was anticipating the 1.5hr bus ride home. The teacher was also talking for FOUR hours about ROM, RAM, Motherboards and various other extrememly BORING things. I'm taking Veterinary Office Management but the first four months are all computer stuff. I had a bad night last night. My dog woke me up at 2am and I couldn't get back to sleep. Because of this, I started to get a strong panic attack that kept me up until 4am and my alarm went off at 6:30. For some reason, it really really bothers me to not sleep through the night because my anxiety is so much worse when I'm tired. Today was a much more anxious day. It feels like all my muscles are bunched up in a knot and I can't get a deep breath. The room is fairly small with twelve computers. The walls are a pale blue and there are numerous flourescent lights. For me, that is bothersome because I'm so hypersensitive when I'm anxious and it really bothers me. I think its the flickering on the blue walls and computer monitors and the movement of the people around me and the teacher talking really makes me not breath propery (in turn causing more anxiety) Sigh........ I'm hangin in there. I just hope it gets better soon. Thanks for the support :) Jen

Hello Jen! I was just wondering how your return to school went yesterday?

Hi Jen, I was also diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom a couple of years ago. I have noticed that I have gained heaps of weight. I'm just wondering what your doctor said to you, did your doctor give any advice on how to lose weight because as you know POS can cause weight gain. Plus all the other problems that come with it to. My doctor has not got me on anything for this. Can you give me any information on POS I would truly be grateful. And I would also like to say I agree with vickers4 try and force yourself to stay in the situation because I have learn't the more you avoid and run the worse our condition(anxiety) gets. I hope you can understand what I mean. Ruby....

Hey Jen! First off, I think it's fabulous you are going to school despite the horror your mind puts you through every day!! Kudos to you!! I've had this for about 12 years now and started CBT through this website a couple months ago. For the first time in all those years, I am feeling some relief without meds. Still have bad days, but not as bad and certainly not as often. I decided to leave my quiet little office and make myself start socializing again. I had a quiet office and only spoke to people when they needed something. I started an office job at a doctor's office about four months ago. Very busy office. The people in the office are fabulous but they insisted on being friendly and talked to me all the time. For the first two months, I was numb and practically blind with panic every day! Constantly dizzy, shaky and had that unreal feeling - every day! But, from what I have learned on this website, the only way to beat this is to force yourself to stay in the situation and in doing so, prove to yourself that there is no danger and things are ok. When you are feeling insane, remind yourself that your feelings are just anxiety and you will not be hurt. Do not allow yourself to escape! My escape at work has always been going in the bathroom until I calmed down. But, I made myself stay at my desk when I was freaking no matter how bad I wanted to escape. Keep telling yourself, I am ok, I am strong, I can handle this. Over and over and over again, but do not escape. The more you can do this, the more you can prove to yourself that you are ok and the more your anxiety in that particular situation will start to lessen. I know it sounds intense. It is. But, I promise you it works!! I now look forward to going to work and even though I sometimes get anxious at work still, it's nowhere near as bad and nowhere near as often. Prove to yourself that you are in no danger by making yourself stay in the situation. Good luck with your new school! You can do it!! You are stronger than you feel - I promise!! When you are having hard times, talk to us and we will do our best to help you get through it.

Hey Jen! Boy, you've had a rough time recently haven't you? I understand how you feel living with panic for 6 years at the young age of 19 - i'Ve had it all my life and I'm 29 now. My dog also died in January (well, we had to put her down because she got this cancer that progressed really fast and came back one evening to find her in a pool of her own blood, from her nose, poor little thing!) You sound like your on the right track, however, by taking the time to care for yourself and re-evaluate your life. Going back to school is stressful, that's for sure, especially for someone with anxiety disorder. I read your post and totally recognized things you said like "I'm afraid of being stuck 1.5 h away from home with a panic attack". What really can help you with those anxious thoughts, those "what ifs", is CBT, cognitive behaviour therapy, and that's what the program on this site is. If you haven't tried it, I really encourage you to. It's done wonders for me and others on this site because it helps you "reprogram" your negative thoughts with positive, more realistic ones. Give it a try, and good luck. Keep us posted on how school goes. :)

Hello! I've had panic attacks for 6 years (I'm 19) and I've been on various ssri's since then (I'm on Effexor now). I graduated from high school (no idea how the hell I did that :) )and have been working since then. In January I started having noticiable health problems and in February was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom which is a metabolic/reproductive disorder that caused large weight gain, pre-diabetes, infertility, absent periods and abnormal hair growth (excess male hormones causes dark eyebrows, chin hair, ect which I manage with waxing and tweezing. I do look normal LOL) Obviously, I was hugely distressed with this diagnosis and the whirlwind of drugs the doctors wanted me to try. I am not one who likes meds and the only reason I'm on effexor is because I was unable to live with the anxiety I was experiencing. I have decided to take NO drugs for PCOS and have gone to a naturopath who has me on a special diet and various herbs that ARE WORKING! YAY! PCOS isn't curable, but managable. Also, apparently insulin resistance (pre-diabetes) causes MANY anxiety symptoms so it has been determined that my anxiety disorder has roots in PCOS but I've had it so long now that the anxiety has been "ingrained" and I need to work through it. My dog also died in April suddenly after getting bone cancer. I also had a fracture in my foot, pulled out my back and got strep throat! SO i'm not trying to complain but rather tell you how I decided to take a medical/stress leave from work. I hadn't taken any time off in three years (don't do that, everyone needs a break!). I think that all that stuff happened for a very good reason. I needed to re-examine myself and discover what I really wanted. I decided to not return to work so I have been off since April. I've now decided to go back to school and take a year-long course in Veterinary Office Management. I'm very very excited BUT also completely terrified. Does anyone have any experience/advice for someone who is going back to school with anxiety/panic disorder? I'm going to be living at home but I'm 1.5hrs away on the bus to go to class. It works great though because my mom works downtown as well so we will go together in the morning (in her car) and I'll take the bus home after school