I guess the reason I slipped is because I didn't listen to myself. I did not follow my plan. I bought some pop for work, so at the end of the week on Friday I would have a pop to drink. This way I would have something cold and refreshing to drink right away. I forgot to drink it. Then my other plan is to go to the corner restaurant to have supper early, and have a full stomach. Once I eat that's it I do not feel like drinking anymore. As I passed the restaurant I told myself. I don't have to eat I can handle it. Mistake #2, I also use a spray that you spray in your mouth something called Declinol. It helps to relieve the cravings, enough to pass onto something else. I forgot it at home. Then the whole grocery thing happened, and well you know the rest. If I would of stuck to the plan I made for myself. I would still be on track, but it's o.k. I have learned from it. I just have to force myself to follow my plan, and not buy into my lies. But its hard sometimes. Especially when you know that if you actually follow your plan You won't drink. Its's messed up. I want to stop drinking, but if I actually follow my plan I won't drink, so I sabotage my plan in order to drink. Then I complain that I have slipped. I think for me it is just a matter of getting use to being sober. The more I try the more its going to be easy. I think. Well that's it. I am getting back on the wagon, and continuing what I have started. I guess for now I can not trust myself. I should ignore myself for now, and what I say to myself. I am just trying to convince myself to drink, or gamble.
