Well I am back on track. After 1, 2, 3, 4, days of drinking, and gambling (relapse) I stopped. I guess the good news about my relapse is 1. For the last 2 weeks. I have been reading Allen Carr's Stop drinking book. He says to drink until you have finished reading the book. I was 2 weeks sober when I started it. After 1 month I relapsed, but I really learned alot about my drinking in all of that. In the book it mentions to look at your drinking, and feel it. What it is really doing to you. I have come to the conclusion that alcohol = nothing. It just messes your life up. I am still to messed up with my last hangover to go into details, but I think everyone knows what alcohol is. I have learned what I did wrong the last time. Not listening to myself. As they say HUNGRY. I ignored all of it. I thought I was better. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. I woke up this morning in bed at 4:am thinking it's over, and I felt a feeling of ahhhhhhh. Finally I can go on with my life. So for me it is day 31 - 4 = 27 days of sobriety. Those 27 days that I did not drink count. No matter what people say. I have shut of the valve to my little monster. it will no longer have anything to drink. It will die a slow death like an unwatered plant. It will scream, and yell, but the faucet will remain Closed!. I also for good measure bought a vicious guard dog that is salavating at the mouth, and pulling on its chain just waiting for any thoughts of the small monster coming near me. I feel secure now. I gotten my control back. I will not fail again.
