Thanks Simmy. Great plan on focusing on yourself to improve things and make the situation better. I can totally relate to what you're saying. I've been there myself and I see it with the people I know who have a drinking problem. There is so much to enjoy in life and the only thing that toxic thinking and alcohol do is draw us in the opposite direction and create strife. Toxic thinking is like gnawing on your own leg. It opens a wound and keeps it from healing. Alcohol was just a temporary pain-killer so we could forget about the pain it causes and avoid the real problem.
Great points Dave! Your ideas remind me of some of the strategies used in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which teaches us to examine the way we think and talk to ourselves, and try to reframe our negative or distorted thoughts into more balanced and positive ones. Alcohol was definitely a way for me to numb out toxic feelings, especially the ones that fester and preoccupy me. I really find the idea of accepting that there are things that I cannot change (rather than dwelling on them and letting them eating away at me), and focusing on what I can change in me to make the situation better. What a positive and grown-up way of dealing with things!
I came across this article which is an interesting read. It talks about how toxic thinking patterns become addictive because they stimulate the regions of the brain (the pleasure centres) which ultimately support learning (an addiction). Have a read.....
Ever notice how these toxic thinking patterns creep into you daily thoughts? And once they start they're like a snowball gaining size and momentum as it rolls down a steep hill. The longer it rolls the harder it is to stop. When they become a habit the create stress and anxiety and we all know how one can be conditioned to cope with stress (drinking, drinking, and more drinking). How much of your drinking problem is driven by this type of dysfunctional toxic thinking? I catch myself doing this and the first thing I do is stop, recognize how truly ridiculous these thoughts are and challenge them. They are weeds that continue to grow and spread and they do you no good whatsoever. As you stop and challenge them and get rid of them you'll begin to feel better, however, you can't do it while you continue to drink excessively. All that does to fuel the toxic, dysfunctional thinking. It's next to impossible to think rationally and objectively when you're hungover after a long bender. The common theme there are feelings of guilt, shame, and remorse, all toxic emotions and forms of thought. We need to a break from it so we can heal and grow. They are a burden that needs to be left behind.
It makes one consider this idea....is the drinking the problem or is the drinking a means to find a solution, relief from these toxic thinking patterns. Let's face it, a person can only take the negative stress and emotional pain for so long before they have to find some relief and alcohol has provided that solution for far too long. Sadly, society has taught us and continues to promote the idea that we need to take something to relieve or escape pain. Time to start honestly looking at how we are speaking to ourselves and the effect it is having on our sense of well-being.
