hey vickers! I know how it feels to feel like you have made progess then you suddenly find yourself back to the spot you hate. I am confident that you will come out of this once again! You've done it before, you can do it again. :) Take your time, the mistake I make sometimes when I have anxiety is I panic about it and want it better now! Just take it in stride that this phase will soon pass and you know it will. You can do this! Take care, keep us posted ;)

Vickers, You are allowed to vent! You know where you have been and how good it felt, now take your time and work your way back there. Take some you time and relax yourself. Starting the program again is great, but you have to be focused and want to do this. Take some time and let us know how we can help, Josie _______________________________ The Panic Center Support Team.

Vickers i totally understand what your going through. First and foremost, CONGRADULATIONS for being the employee of the month. I know it was hard for you to stand in front of all those people and be stared at.....but look on the bright side, YOU ARE THE BEST EMPLOYEE!!!! I'm so proud of you! U should be proud of yourself too! Sometimes its hard for us to deal with these 'happy moments' cause we are so consumed with our anxiety/panic. For example, i am extremely nervous because I am graduating this year from university. I have to go to my graduation and i'm terrified. I really cannot picture myself being free from panic/anxiety. I am trying to think positive but its hard. Anyhow, Dont worry, this will pass. U want to crawl under the covers and never come out cause you are going through a hard time right now. But just try to think of the good times you had. Try to think back at those moments. Think that YOU made those good times happen....and they will definately come back again! Dont worry, we all go through our ups and downs here. The main thing is to try to be strong. About the meds, its totally up to you. Personally, i believe you can do this without the meds. Like you said, the healing journey has to come from US....deep within us. Meds are just there to supress things (thats just my opinion though..i'm sure its helped a lot of people). If u dont want meds, try to go the natural way! Its helped me a lot. I hope u feel better soon. Just remember that you are strong! U can do anything you want! I'm here for you all the way!~ :)

Hi Vickers. I just finished reading your post and I completely understand how you are feeling. Work for me is also the place I seem to experience some of my worst feelings of panic. Instead of focusing on my work I spend the entire day waiting for a panic attack and then trying to convince myself not to "escape". I hate meetings because I feel as though I'm truly trapped and if I was to freak out everyone would just think of me as the crazy woman. I find that if I can just let go enough to focus on what I'm doing the day goes by so much faster and so much better. But then again I understand that this is easier said than done. I find that confiding in someone at work who I trust helps, because when I get really anxious I sometimes just need to talk to someone about it. Otherwise I give my husband a call and he helps me calm down a bit. I don't know your whole story and I am definitely in no position to give advice, but in my opinion I think that if you beat this once, you will do it again. I also "beat it" about 5 years ago and thought I was doing great, but then I recently lost my sister and my father suddenly and the anxiety just came rushing back. This time around though, I feel like I have more information and more support at hand (finding this site was a definite plus). Maybe as we go on we learn from our experiences and the knowledge helps us fight future bouts of anxiety. I don't think we ever get rid of anxiety for life, but I feel like this is something that we can control, we just have to keep reminding ourselves of that. Good luck, and keep in touch!

I'm probably going to be on here a lot for awhile. I started this program about a year ago and for the first time in 12 or 13 years, I actually had days without any anxiety or panic! For about six months, I didn't have any panic attacks and I thought for sure I had beat it for good. I can't tell you how good it felt! As most of you know, since I've been on here so many times lately, I was at work about three months ago and had a HUGE panic attack brought on by a massive dizzy spell. Every day since, I have been panicky and anxious and dizzy and weak. It feels like it's getting worse every day. I feel like I am forcing myself to just get through the day every single day. I force myself to stay at work and not escape. I force myself to smile and talk to people at work while my insides are screaming and I feel like I'm going to collapse any second. I even force myself to do what I need to at home to keep the kids and my husband happy even though I just want to go in my room and lock the door and cry. But instead, I keep it in and smile. Last week, we had our monthly Employee of the Month meeting. I kept telling myself, this will be over in a few minutes, you will make it through this, everything's ok, etc. etc. because I have a hard time sitting in meetings around people. I was Employee of the Month this month and when she called my name, my first thought was, oh dear God no! Because that meant I had to stand up in front of everyone while they read the nominations. It was so hard!! It felt wonderful that these people would nominate me, but I couldn't enjoy it because I felt like bolting. Again, I smiled and joked and thanked everyone - while inside, I'm crawling out of my skin. I've been shaky and weak all day. My heart keeps racing also. I used to work out every day and felt great. Because I have felt so horrid the last few months, I gradually stopped exercising about a month and a half ago. I forced myself to exercise this morning. I got really weak and dizzy during the workout and started to panic, but I forced myself to finish. Yesterday, I was at Walmart with my husband doing the grocery shopping. We were there about two hours and I got so incredibly weak while we were there. I almost left twice but I forced myself to stay and ge