I believe my anxiety had a lot to do with my upbringing. My mother has always been a catastrophic thinker - meaning that everything is the end of the world, whether it's a twinge in your belly or a past due bill. Everything was a major event. She also would flip out for no reason and break things, scream and holler, beat my sisters (I always stayed out of the way and didn't get it) and would just plain be nuts for no apparent reason. Now that I am older, I can understand why she was that way. She also is a panicker and suffers depression. Back then, the only way she knew how to deal with it was by freaking out. Now, the doctor has her on meds and she is a totally different person. I wish they had those meds when I was a kid because maybe I wouldn't have grown up with so much anxiety myself. She also grew up in a very tense house - much worse than I did. And I think that's why she has so much anxiety. I am trying desperately to break that cycle so my kids won't know the same.
Although I know that it is our choice to react to our childhoods in whichever way we do, I absolutely believe that your childhood makes you who you are. But, there is hope. You can break through and let it go. It just takes time. I've been dealing with this for about 13 years now. I'm just now learning how to deal with it over the last year or so. Like you, I have good times and bad times. It comes in waves. You just deal with it as you go. But, when you are having bad times, remember that good times will come again. You just have to hang in there!
