Thanks for your help,yes it did make sense the normal-unnormal thing.I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.Today my mum and I had somewhut of a discussion.Mostly now she is trying to scare me into staying around this area. She keeps asking"Well if you can't go to the store,get a job, or whatever here what makes you think you can do it there?Might as well just stay here".I don't really want to stay in this area though and I see it as either way I still have to leave so she is right in saying where does it matter where you are at.In some ways I think it might be a bit helpful starting over in a place,where no one knows anything about me,of course it might come back to kick me in the butt but I guess its you have to do it or die trying type of thing. If I stay here or move I will still be on my own and have to survive that.Here though I could get a friend to be my roomate,go shopping,help pay rent ect and while that sounds great at times I feel that goes against my goals of being self-sufficent and doing all this on my own.Its familiar here but maybe to familiar,no jobs except mostly fast food or walmart type things. In NM they have a lot of small businesses with smaller settings.I'm just confused now,she keeps telling me I need to get out and see the world but then keeps saying stay here,stay here.I just think a different environment might help a bit because then for sure I have to face my fears and can't always depend on others.Sorry it was so long and repetative,I can't explain things to well.I got this sense of hope as I was thinking about moving today and feel a bit excited about it,though I'm sure that will change when the time gets closer,its like a seesaw.Everytime my mum gets mad at me its like a little push in that direction in thinking I can do it and make it own my own even if its just to make you mad.Hm I feel evil now.
