Wrestler, I'm glad to hear your starting to feel better. Kudos to you on reaching out for help when you need it. It's not always easy. As for your mistake at work, try to forgive yourself. Nobody is perfect. Perfection is an illusion. Better days are ahead. Keep persevering and keep us posted. Danielle _______________________ The PC Support Team

Well David i am super glad that you are feeling better and that venting here helped you out :) Feel free to vent here anytime :) I am also glad to hear that your wife is real supportive :) That is so importnat :) Anyway, Thanks for the update :) -Diva

I also meant to add that I have since had a solid day at work yesterday and I never even heard about my error from my boss. I corrected it that day. Not saying I won't hear about it, but my worst fears were not needed and neither was my relapse. I took Thursday off (a personal day off, the day I posted) to try and look for a new job. No success yet, but I did apply at several places. The day off was also to relax my loud mind a bit. My wife is very supportive and that is why I also feel good more than I used to. David

Thank you both, Oh yeah, it was caused by a mistake at my job. I remember being paranoid at making anothet mistake, so I stayed late one day to check over some of my work online. I had just worked on a contract for a hotel that took like 4 hours to enter the rates properly. I finished it last week only to find out the Monday after that I had entered the wrong address and the reservations were going to another hotel in the same chain. I was so upset and I feel this is what sparked my relapse. I had some anxiety before that, but nothing more than the norm. Since posting the other day it helped me on my way back to normal feelings. I find that I suffer from depression and anxiety/OCD and panic a lot, but a simple thing like coming here and posting my feelings, ideas and thoughts helps release what I was feeling and it brings me to a level I can accept. We are so lucky in this modern age that we have more places to vent (like this group) than we did a while back where we'd have to end up forking over tons of money just to talk to someone in an office. My therapist I have seen since 1995 has been wonderful, ands I will go again, but I cannot afford the cost sometimes. Thanks again for the posts and helpful thoughts and support. David

hmmm "hear" was supposed to be "heart" lol! As in my heart goes out to you :) -Diva

David, my hear goes out to you. I too have suffered a relapse recently and have been battling uphill ever since. I suffer from GAD and panic attacsk (among others that are non anxiety related. anyway, it hasnt been easy but i try to tell myself that my relapse is just another bump in the road, another challenge. I figure if i give it power over me, it has power over me. But if i see it as just nother bump in the road i take away its power and take it for my own to get over this. anyway, i dont know if this helpes at all. But i do want to say i know how bad a relapse can feel. and i also know how you can get out of it too. So you can do this and we will all be here to cheer you on, i know i will be. Take care and hope to hear more from you soon. -Diva

Wrestler1, We are here whenever you need us. Take some time to look back at what events led to this relapse. An increase level of stress? Did you make a mistake at work? Work through those feelings and begin reworking the tools of the program. What have you done in the past that was helpful to keeping your anxiety in check? What have you been doing to manage your anxiety levels lately? This is a bump in the road and you can overcome it! Please let us know if we can help in any way. Keep close. Danielle ________________________ The PC Support Team

It's been several months since I last posted. I needed to post today to clear my head and move forward again. It's odd how we relapse or feel less confident in our abilities to perform in our everyday lives, but that's where I find myself at this hour. I've had panic disorder, depression and anxiety and OCD for most of my life. I am 40 years of age. I feel my job is the current cause or adds to most of my current problems. It's one of those jobs where the job becomes so dominant in my thoughts that my Obcessive Compulsive Disorder becomes worse. I need to find a new job. I leave the job sometimes feeling shaky and the thoughts inside my head are so loud, and it becomes hard to relax, even when home for several hours. I feel bad because I don't like to be moody around my wife. I work for an online travel company and it's a very demanding and detail oriented task. One mistake with a rate for a hotel and you're in the dog house. When you have obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety, this problem sometimes becomes worse. Just when the weekend comes, some calm emerges, and then it is time to go back to the grind and fear of making mistakes at work, etc, etc, etc. Some of my regular fears include thoughts of catastrophes like explosions, or thoughts of losing those I love, and a personal fear of death. I sometimes become so consumed with the reality of my own mortality that it becomes hard to motivate myself to work or do nice things. Anyway, I said I came here to vent and I feel I have. If anyone has any similar feelings, as I know some I have chatted with in this group already do, please feel free to contribute. I know these feelings of mine will pass, but it's just hard when they are so magnifide at the moment, and it makes it hard to remember what it feels like to have very little anxiety or OCD. I feel OCD is the worst of my problems, because it is so bad sometimes. I get in the mode where I feel if I do not do something perfectly or express my thoughts to someone or do not hear something my wife says, and ask her to repeat it, I feel as if something bad will happen. Sometimes I just let the feeling go and I am fine. I wish I could do that more. Thanks to all who listen and respond. David