Aww thanks Mary for responding to me and thanks for the great compliments it means a lot to me :) -Diva <3

You know what Diva, you are always there to respond to everyone, you are such a caring person, always so interested in everyone, so concerned and now you should take care of YOU. I'm sorry you're in a rough spot, but it sounds like you can do this. You're a strong person, keep going...

Thanks Sue! That was such a good pick me upper for me. Thanks for the speach, i needed it. Especially cause I have to go do two final examinations today for school and i am feeling nervous. Thanks so much your reply could not have come at a better time <3 -Diva

Oh Diva ! I've just read and replied to your post about doing your presentation ! Maybe you should read it again yourself, just to remind yourself of how well your doing ? I think we all have a tendency to not look after ourselves as well as we should, because life isn't really like that, we don't want to let people down, we must do this, say yes to that, and see it as selfish somehow to say ' well actually right now I come first', when it really isn't. Its something we just have to do, for now, and when we're more balanced ( for want of a better way of putting it ! ), then we can spread ourselves around a bit, if you know what I mean ! It will come, just don't push it. You know what you have to do.... LOOK AFTER YOURSELF RIGHT NOW, nothing else. Your presentation was an amazing thing to do, so big pat on the back, off the bump, and carry on, coz' you've been doing brilliantly, and you will again ! You seem so determined, I know you will !!

Thank you Casey. Thanks for your encouragement and support :) -Diva

Hi Diva, Thanks for sharing this here. Never hesitate to come and share your thoughts. Remember that we all understand what it is like to live with panic and anxiety. Find strength in all of your many successes! You have truly been making amazing progress! Don't let this experience set you back. You have been a true inspiration to so many here! Keep us posted, Casey _____________________________ The Panic Center Support Team

Thanks Arteest, you are right the little triumphs and the baby steps. I will try to keep that in mind and thanks for answering and helping me feel not so alone :) -Diva

Awwwwwwww Diva - Sorry you feel so awful. I just wrote a very lengthy "new thread" post, and then deleted it! I never know how much to put on the forum or how much I should (or shouldn't) say... grrrrrrrrr. I'm having a very frustrating day too. I'm sorry to hear you feel like you've lost ground. That's a lousy feeling, I know. I was just venting my spleen about roughly the same thing. My hubby has a hard time looking at me like I'm "not defective" lately. But I'm sure a lot of that is probably (projecting). I hate that we feel broken and were on the way to being "fixed" when hitting a hiccup in the road. Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. I know it's cliche, but try and remember the little triumphs. The every day small things. And know that we're all pulling for ya. Good luck! :) Arteest

Last night i had a panic attack, which was worse then usual. the fear rating on it was double what my other attacks had been in the past few weeks. the point where the panic attack was set off was while i was talking to my husband and i suddenly felt like to him i had dissappeared when i relapsed and had not come baack. For everybody else i am back on track and doing great but in this talk i felt like to him i was still gone and dispappeared and like that negated all the progress i had made in the last seven weeks. And that is not what he was trying to say he was just letting me know he was still ready to have a relationship with me but that is not what i heard. I suddebly felt like all my hard work was for nothing. On top of it i felt scared he would get tired of this and leave. Then on top of it i felt guilty because i wasn't getting well fast enough for him. And on top of all that i already felt guilty towards myself. You see i am in the final stretch of my session in university. Doing term papers and studying for exams. And i suddenly forgot to take care of myself. I let school come before me (As if that would ever turn out right!). So in the last two weeks i have bvarely been doing my thought challenging or my exposure work. So not only have i hit a plateau i was in a lull. I didn't take good care of myself pshysically either during those two weeks. I thought, just a bit more eeffort then i can take care of myself. And ir came back to bite me in the you know what. Plus i was tired yesterday. So all in all many factors contributed to this panic attack. I decided today that no matter what schoolwork i need to do, i will come first and screw it if something gets turned in late or something. I have to taje good care of myself and the rest will be easier cause i will feel good inside. But i keep getting sidetracked and forgetting that. Plus i feel so guilty around my hubby when i realize that to him i am still gone out to lunch. I have to remind myself that whatever his perception, i have been doing great progress and that i will keep making progress and that this too shall pass and i will be ok. But i have to admit that today, the day after my attack, i feel ****ty and low and i am having trouble remembering how far i have come and how great i am doing. And