I can completely understand you, Mel. I am tired of this nightmare as well. I've been fighting with it for about 5 years and are really sick of it! But things are going better..I mean now I understand what it is and how to fight it. At the beginning I didn't know what is happening with me, am I crazy or what? I think, the first step towards normal life is that you understand what is wrong with you and what you know and are learning how to fight this illness. Looking back at my experience in fighting anxiety, I've been successful. I've overcome many frights and phobias, like going by public transport for a long distance, using elevators etc. Of course, I also have ups and downs, but now I have both successful experience in fighting anxiety and phobias and knowledge of how to fight it. It just takes time. Think of baby steps. And do not compare yourself to others. Try to accept panic disorder and it will leave you, for sure! :)

Wow i really was rambling earlier. Sorry about that guys been feeling sick for a few days and am a bit off my game just ignore me till I get better lol! Anyway, later! -diva

I so understand how you guys are feeling. So often I just think why cant I be like everyone else? Why cant this stupid anxiety/panic thing just go away and leave me alone for good! I have had so many of those days, especially after a relapse.... But in the last few months I have been thinking about this a whole lot. I figure what is "normal" anyway? In one of my classes they told us that if you combine every anxiety disorder then you get somewhere between 20-25% of the North American population who will suffer from an anxiety disorder at one point in their lives. And that if you take all mental illness together you get around 49% of the N-American population which will have a mental disorder of some kind at one point or another in their lives. Now that survey was not the youngest survey ever and the numbers might have changed since. But it still gives me a new perspective on normality.... If 49% will suffer from mental illness at one point or another, does it not mean that normal is having a mental illness or disorder just as much as normal means not having one? And if so well, we are definitely not alone out there feeling like this. I am sorry, I am sick today, and I think the Vicks vaporub is getting to my brain, I am kind of rambling. All i was trying to say is that lately, yeah i do wish I was better, but I try not to define myself as normal vs. not normal, cause what is normal anyway? Also, from what I gather from "normal" people who dont have anxiety disorder, life for them isnt peaches and creams either. Ok so maybe they have fewer obstacles on their way then we do, but I think sometimes we imagine that it is so great and easy for them that it makes the way we feel seem so much worse. But they have doubts and fears and worries just like us. Ok maybe not to the extent we do but still. So that is what I have been reflecting on lately. Because I have spent at least half my life dealing with my anxiety disorders and wanting to be normal, and thinking if I was normal I would be better... Now I am starting to finally accept myself and love myself and respect myself the way I am. Ok so my alarm system is trigger happy and I am a total worry wart but I am still a great beautiful person with a chance for happiness, just the way I am. I have found that

Hi Mel, I am also going through a rough day. I was having a pretty good week. Very little anxiety, feeling like I was getting on top of things, when BAM!! this morning I wake up with anxiety. I was so angry because I want to feel normal too. I wonder what it is like for other people who wake up get ready for the day then just get on with it. They don't have to go through a whole list of things to be concerned about. They don't think I might get in an accident on the way to work, or feel scared that they have some horrible disease, they don't imagine every headache is cause for concern, every little pain is an indicator of something bad going on with their bodies. I feel frusterated that when I have to go out I have to plan my day in my mind first. What route I will take, what stores I have to go to, that I have my meds with me just in case. I want to go back to school and get a proper career but how I will do it I don't know. Why does it all seem so daunting? I feel like I have never really lived and I am not getting any younger. So I can relate to you wanting to feel normal so much. Sorry I meant to post something a little more uplifting and ended up just venting. But I guess we are all kind of in the same boat wanting to wake up each day with hope and a sense of peace. I really hope for you and all of us to feel better soon. We deserve it!!!!

Hey Mel, I hope your doing better today. If it makes you feel any better, you just described the exact way i'm feeling. I'm having a rough day myself today.....i'm fighting...always! I'm constantly feeling heavy in the chest, cant breath good, cant do ANYTHING without feeling tired or anxious etc. And i worry about everythingggggggg too....even the tiniest things that shouldn't even be a struggle in life. I'm just so angry now. I try not to be angry. But i cant help it. I get angry at my mind and my body for feeling this way....and it wont go away. Anyhow, i'm sorry if i made you feel worse.........just wanted to let you know that i feel the same. Let me know how your doing.

Mel, Many have felt just as you do now. It's okay. Vent away if it makes you feel better. Continue working through the program. Arming yourself with knowledge and learning skills to combat your anxiety is your best defense. Hang in there. Better days are ahead. Danielle ____________________ The PC Support Team

No need to apologize Mel. We all have those moments or periods where we just need to vent. I totally get where you are coming from. And hey if venting here makes you feel better then vent away! I know i say this a lot and it's may sound corny to some but I really do beleive in it. Be good, kind, patient and understanding to yourself and remember, this too shall pass! So Hang in there :) -Diva

Ive been really anxious, Im tired of fighting this I would love to just feel normal. Tired of walking around in a haze. I let everything bother me and I worry so much about everything that I have a hard time enjoing it. something as simple as going out to eat I have so may thoughts that constantly running threw me head and then i get all worked up and my anxiety makes me feel Ill, dizzy, and just not all there. and then everything I feel even though I know its related to my anxiety I blame it on my meds and I fear Im going to go crazy and it makes me not want to take meds which I know I need well i could go on and on sorry just needed to vent