Hiya Kitty!
Boy do I know how you feel. I felt the exact same way when I relapsed in December. But I really think you should be so angry and such at yourself. I know it didn't help me at all. What I have learned since december or am still learning since then is to be kind and patient and understanding to myself. Funny how we often extend that courtousy to others but not ourselves! Anyway, You can do this and you can get over this. This is just another tiny bump in the road! The CBT program here is great as you must know and could help you get over this. Anyway, I hope you are feeling less sick and much better. And btw, after a panic attack, a big one, I often feel really bad for days and exhausted and often catch flus easily and such. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
Remember, this too shall pass!
-Diva
