My Husbands dad is in a hospice at the moment because he has cancer again and the treatment has not worked so they are just trying to control his pain and keep him comfortable, I had to go see him last week and was really nervous as he as hardly any hair now, and is fail compared to how he used to be so I was obviously nervous as when my dad was in hospital last year I couldnt go in to see him hardly as I got such bad panic attacks and feeling faint scares me big time, but this place is part of the hospital looks like it but I kept telling myself its more like a care home, I knew he would look different and that upset me a bit but I managed to stay an hour had few moments but just kept talking, my Husband was with me, I then freaked out when at the shops at the weekend first time in a long time, I felt tired and ill and knew I would freak so had to rush back to the car with my Husband but after 10 minutes I did go back and carried on, was'nt that comfortable but did feel very tired and bit ill anyway, but did it, guess I know that things are slowly getting worse with my Husbands dad and I not shure how I will handle it as time goes on, I go to jelly and shakey and faint as the smallest thing, I have to be strong for my Husband, also I have a hospital appoitment next week for my eye apparently my Doctor says I have an Aides pupil don't really understand it totally but am getting very nervous about this and my nerves always make me feel faint, not with it etc, I am worried also that I will have to have drops in my eye to dilate pupul more and that will make me feel not with it, I am such a wimp I still have to go to dentist at some point and have a filling as well.
