Shalford,I was so glad to see your post.You have been on my mind and I'm so happy to hear your feeling some relief! Please remember how good these changes feel because if your anything like me, we tend to revert to our bad habits once we feel better. I'm really proud of you and how quickly you havve taken the bull by the horns. Yet another example of how strong and successful you are! The reality is that we all live healthier and fuller lives if we allow ourselves to be part of a community. People generally want to be involved and help out, it makes them feel good as well and we in turn love to help others. My thoughts will continue to be with you, especially in regards to your dad and please let us know how things continue on.

Shalford, Excellent! Way to put yourself first, just as you deserve to be! Glad to hear the week is off to a good start for you. Keep us posted! Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist

Thank you, all of you. Your comments have helped put things in perspective, and the practical suggestions give me something to work on - gives me more sense of being in control. The journal idea is excellent Maria, and something I had started already, but you have edged me into making it a priority. Janet, I was very interested to hear that the Gabba can be used on an ad hoc basis too. I am currently taking 2 a day, but the psychiatrist said I could take up to 4. I was also interested to hear that you too had that tingling sensation - my psychiatrist tended to dismiss this when I told her. Diva and Brenna, thanks as always for responding so swiftly (I feel like I'm making an Academy Awards Speech). But this is genuine appreciation for people who reach out to others. You will all be pleased to know that things are a little easier this week. AFter a visit to my father on Sunday, my body's natural defence system kicked in and I was struck down with a migraine. This was good because it forced me to take a day off and just sleep. Maria, you'll be pleased to know I called my friends and asked them to do school lifts for me!I've also cancelled a lot of unnecessary appointments to give me a little more space , and (Maria!) booked myself in for a back massage this morning. To crown it all, my best friend came by last night with a beautiful bunch of roses. WHen I look at them I know I am loved. My father is becoming weaker and weaker, less and less the father I know. I can only hope he will be put out of this misery soon. Again , writing this all out for you helps me get some distance. AS Shakespeare put it "I can no other answer make but thanks and thanks and ever thanks."

I have used GABA with some success. When I'm having an anxiety attack, I empty the contents of two capsules under my tongue. Within a few minutes, I get a tingling sensation in my extremities. Then my heart rate and breathing slow down and I begin to feel less of the symptoms. I don't feel normal with GABA, but it definitely works to stop an attack in it's tracks. I didn't find that it prevented them from happening again. I gave some to a friend who was in the midst of an intense panic attack and it worked for him too.

So sorry you are having such a rough go. The one thing that struck me in your post was that I hope you are reaching out to your friends/family for support. These life transitions would be taxing on anyone! One of the things I think people find difficult is asking for help from those around us (I am the queen of trying to take it all on myself ). Can someone help you with taking the kids to school or picking them up? Visiting your dad or making the occassional meal for you. These may seem small in a very complicated situation but if a couple of little things can be taken off your plate it opens up room for you to breath. You HAVE to take time to heal yourself. No one is going to make this a priority for you if you don't. Somewhere in this challenging time there must be time for you. Committ yourself to even 20 minutes a day where you will take a private, uninterupted bath and write in a journal (I think journals are a good way to document our strengths when we are having trouble seeing the positives due to fear/deppression). Start documenting your strengths, things you did well; a time when you felt confident; a time when you were proud of the way you handled something/someone. Things you are grateful for, things that are going well. Quotes that you find inspirational, pictures....you get what I mean. This is going to be your road map for when the fear and deppression begin to try and convince you that there is nothing working. Your journal is the evidence to the contrary. I also find visualising helpful. I close my eyes and picture myself being successful in a situation from the begining to the end, over and over until I have the feeling that I will be successful and competent in that situation. Also, as Diva pointed out, follow the program. It is so helpful to know what panic and fear are and how they work, it will begin to deflate their power over you. Hang in there, your stronger than you think. You have already overcome more that one person has in a life time!

Hiya Shalford! Just wanted to say hello and say thanks for sharing with us. I did not find your post boring at all. This can be difficult to deal with and I am sorry you are having a rough time of it. Feel free to come here and vent anytime. We understand how it is. This is why this forum exists, so people like you and me and all the others can get support from people who understand them. Hang in therte, it can get better. Have you tried the program here? It has helped me a ton and is worth trying. Anyway, remember: This too shall pass! -Diva

Shalford, You have got a lot on your plate, don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Try to document when and why you get the panic attacks so that you can learn some coping techniques for when they start to come again. It is normal to have good and bad days and that is why we are here. Lets here from our members what kind of suggestions they have about some treatment methods they have tried. Also, make it clear to your doctor about you past medical history and what your oncologist has told you so that he knows how you are reacting to the medications. Brenna, Bilingual Support Specialist

I am in a really bad state. 3 children at differents schools, my father is dying, trying to run a small business from home. 10 years ago radically treated for cancer - as a result went into menopause overnight - am still getting hot flushes. While I was always an anxious person, this has definitely made things worse also mood swings etc. I am in therapy. over the years I have also seen a psychiatrist and tried a number of medications: efexor; efexine (?) ;cyprolex ( I think these are the names). Each one of them gave me bad side-effects; headache, dizziness, numbness and generally disconnected. Bad because I am a writer, and I felt completely out of touch. One made me feel suicidal. so I have battled on without. Now it's spinning around to Christmas again and the tension and anxiety around my terminally ill father is spinning me out, along with everything else. I can't talk to people without feeling faint. Even when I talk to someone on the phone I can feel myself hyperventilating and my throat going numb. i have upped my therapy sessions and also gone back to trying something called Gabba which was a suggestion from the physicatrist. I can't say they've made a lot of difference. I'm doing everyhting I can in terms of nutrition and exercise too. People who know me find it hard to believe I am so phobic about socializing. To them I am a smart, witty, vivacious mum, a succesful writer and poet and exemplary cancer survivor. This makes it worse, because that other less succesful person lives only in my head. I am doing the course, but am pressed for time, also suffer from extreme fatigue. What a sad story. You get good days and bad, but this is BAD. Does anyone have any suggestions re different medications, or alternatives to medication. I feel like I have tried everything - my oncologist said I had a heightened senstivity to drugs. Guess what? Then I feel a failure and a hypochondriac for that. THe last anti-dperessant I tried felt worse than a dose of chemo. And I'm reluctant to spend another large whad of money on medication that I am forced to dump after a week ( the pychiatrist did ask me to push through. Belive me I tried). Also - does anyone have any experience with the GABBA? Perhaps I should up the dose as I am currently taking two a day. Well I am using this forum to "objectify" the panic and maybe get some distance from it. If you are still reading this and not bored with it as I certainly am, thanks. Shalford