Hi Kristy, I do too know how you feel. I moved away from home to work in another city, there was only one person there I knew and we didn't have the greatest relationship. As years went on, that one person and I decided that we should not be together and we split. A couple of years later, I met my husband and them bam. He lived back home and we would see each other on weekends. But all this triggered something in me and I grew very panicky and had many anxiety attacks. I too quit my job, became very much on my own and I eventually moved back home. I couldn't understand where these feelings were coming from.
Now, 20 years later, through many months of therapy and meds, I have figured out what my triggers are that set me off, this ranged from the how sweet my boyfriend was to me at that time (I guess he still is), haven't had that kind of relationship before, this triggered earlier memories for me, and for him coming and going (leaving me during the week to go back home), feeling abandoned. This is when I moved back home.
I know that feeling of helplessness, you want to fix it immediately, hyou want those feelings to go away...it takes time and it will happen. This program helps with finding out what triggers these responses in us...it's so amazing how everything works. You need to find out what sets you off...on my end, I know can see what my triggers are, I too am afraid of getting sick and leaving my family, but I now know where that stems from and can intellectually understand it and also emotionally understand it.
Does this make any sense? I hope it helps....many of us do and are going through this...gosh I still have moments, those days, I'm overly nice to myself...no expectations.
Take care...keep writing.
