Dee, I'm sorry you're feeling sad and down, I and several others have been there too. I was too put on beta blockers for symptoms and was also reluctant to take any meds, but I think I was at the point where I needed to look after me and if that meant taking something to help me get through this, I did it and still am...it's been almost 7 months.
I have 3 kids and I have found that they kept me going even though I had no strength to keep going...I had to be there, so to them, I am grateful, they made me have to get up in the morning...you can do this...just calm yourself down...get up and do something simple, change your pattern when you get panicky. Use the techniques here, they really truly help.
Take care, remember, one day at a time. Gosh, do I understand what you're going through..a lot of people here do...you can get through this.