Thank you so much for your replies and your support! I truely appreciate it!
And yes Caden, this too shall pass and time heals all wounds. Thank you for reminding me. BTW, George sounds awesome!
Joe, you are right, living with the ghost is easier then saying goodbye and yet I know it is important for me to say goodbye. I know I can move on without forgetting. As you pointed it out, it is tough to do though. Ans yes, I am keeping at it!
Keep with it, dealing comes with facing your fears. I think your comfortable with the ghost, because it's easier then saying good-bye. Saying good-bye means letting go, which is a hard thing to do when it comes to those you value in your life. And each of us has our own value system, I won't put you down for yours if it's different then mine, I'm sure there will be things from my spectrum that seem senseless.
You ain't bothering us, so keep at it until you beat it Doc. Cheers!
As for people saying he was just a cat, to me they are the people who couldn't possibly understand because they have never had a pet. I can totally understand your feelings as I love cats and dogs. I do not have any pets of my own but I do love a lot of other people's pets. My mum & I just got back from a friend's house who has a little sweetie pie of a scottish terrier named George. You wouldn't believe this little guy when you go in he comes over for a pat & then immediately rolls over on his back for you to rub his tummy. My arm was starting to get sore I was rubbing his tummy for quite a while, he looked so content I thought he was sleeping.
Although I can't give you advise on how to deal with your grief I empathize with you, to me pets are like part of your family.
I am sorry for your loss, just remember what they say that time heals all wounds.
I decided to start the " Delaing With Grief" section of the program. I started it last week. I am taking my time to do the homework. But in filling in the Worksheet, it made me realize a ton of things. First, that I have had very few rituals to say goodbye. That in my heart I have resisted saying goodbye. I still want to talk in the present as if he is still here. Talking in the past makes me realize he is gone. I still imagine I see him or hear him around the house sometimes. I dream of him and he is alive and happy! I miss him so badly. I have not put away his things or washed the shirt I wore that day. I actually have panic attacks if I try to wash it. I have panic attacks trying to move any of his things. I need to find some rituals to help me put away his things and to say goodbye. But I am afraid. I like the ghosts in my house. I ike them because I know I cannot forget how much I love him, how much I miss him, how great he is, how lovely and loving and wonderful. But I will need to say goodbye, I wouldn't forget him. So why do I feel guilty?
The other thing I realized is that I try to keep the talking or posting about this to a minimum. I guess I do not want to be a burden. There is also the fact that he was a cat. I am afraid people will not understand. I am afraid of the :"Get over it he was just a cat" reaction. If he had been a person I could speak of how deeply my grief goes as I would know people will understand. I could speak of it without feeling silly because "he was just a cat". But to me he was more then just a cat! But I don't dare talk about how sad I am! Or about how much I miss him still. Or about how hard it is for me to say goodbye and let him go! He is such a good cat and I miss him so. Even on this forum I am afraid to express this...
And I am sorry to bother you with this again. I guess I am just not dealing as well with this as I feel I should. Anyway, thanks, and you all have a wonderful day!
Sometimes it feels weird how I can have a good day and still miss him so much. Sometimes I almsot feel guilty for moving on. But then I remember Oscar is a happy cat and I figure me being happy is good. I guess we move on but we don't forget. I miss him a lot still but the memories make me smile more now instead of making me cry as much. Oscar is a good cat.
