You're in a tough spot right now. Stick it out, and try to talk to your husband today. It is completely understandable that you are afraid, it is not easy.
In terms of school, its ok. Maybe write an email to your teacher explaining your situation, or even just telling them that you were unable to attend class, and ask if they could send you what you missed. You could also ask to copy one of your classmate's notes.
thanks so much for the reply. I think I will let him know my thoughts today. I'm so afraid to though, I guess I am in denial. I wish things were back to normal... and I wish I never said anything... but I guess it all had to happen.. and I'm TRYING to hope for the better. I couldn't go to school today. I got there half way, but I just felt so nauseous, and then I started to get an attack... it's been a looong time. I'm a bit disappointed because I was almost there.. and the teacher said today would be an important lesson. I was so scared that I'd faint while trying to get back here but, voila, I made it! I feel so dizzy still though. Man, I really don't know what to do.
Sorry to hear that things aren't going well. How was your time at home? I'm glad to hear that you decided to stick it out in the car with your hubby. It sounds like you have had enough. Have you told your hubby how you are feeling? That you have had enough, and things need to change?
I know it is easier said than done, but try to toss your thoughts of your husband aside when you are at school. Having an education is important, and I am sure one of your priorities since you are in school, so stay strong. You will be able to work and you will be able to make your own money, regardless of what happens with your husband.
thanks sooooo much for the reply. I feel so much comfort.
I am very exhausted and tired now. I feel tired of trying. I feel tired of everything... even telling myself that things will be ok. Last night I became so afraid of coming back to this town from my parent's house. I wanted to just stay home and not deal with this anymore. I don't even care about school anymore... well, I do, but I'm just so tired of even being in the same room as him. All I think about is him and I don't even get anything in my head in class. I'm afraid of my future, and I'm afraid of him leaving me, yet I'm afraid of him staying with me.... I've had crazy migraines from yesterday and the world won't stop spinning. I'm afraid I won't be able to work and make my own money and won't be able to support myself... well, I must go to school now, somehow. Agh..... so tired of it all.
I am like you. I married my highschool sweetheart so I haven't gone through a big breakup either. But if he cannot move forward then maybe it is for the best. I am sure that you will be able to handle it. Think how well you have handled panic.
You really aren't bothering anybody. This must be a very difficult time for you. Please post here as much as you need and I wish that someone through a divorce can give you some good advice.
I was wondering if some of you who have gone through divorce can tell me some of your experiences. At this point in my life, I feel like things wont get any better. I am quite exhausted with my husband's behavior and I don't think his mind will change anytime before he leaves to the other countries. I don't think I have the energies to wait for someone who cannot forgive me. I am trying to prepare myself for it and I am becoming really afraid of it. He is my first and only boyfriend so I have never even gone through a break up either. I am afraid that I will not be able to handle it... even though I feel like it is at it's worst at this point.
