I don't want to say that I have beaten PA's. Not quite yet anyway. In fact I just had one But they don't affect me as badly as they used to and I am not as afraid of them. In fact I invite them. Right now though it is almost 3AM here and I have to be up soon so a PA felt very uninvited- thus it got the better of me.
I will write a list of future accomplishments. I do have many in mind. Probably the uppermost ambition is for me to walk onstage in a red robe to collect my PhD.
Gene,
It can be very difficult to constantly feel motivated. However, continue to concentrate on your achievements, such as going to the gym during peak hours.
You got some really positive advice from Joe as well. Have you tried creating a list of future achievements for yourself? Please let us know how that has worked for you!
Members, what are some other ways you motivate yourself in times of need?
Sarah, Health Educator
Oh, and for the lack of motivation. That's something I had to fight over the weekend. For me, the more I feel I need motivation, the more it becomes a problem. Whenever I do whatever I'm doing, rather then finding something to motivate me, now I look for ways to distract myself. Talking to a random person while in line at the store can be interesting...sometimes it can be fun...and sometimes the other person isn't so responsive. It's kinda cool though, talking to them and not letting it affect me. Every person has their own battles to fight, I may not be the one that can get through to them. Que sara, sara...this is one of a very select few forms of ignorance I can indulge in, mostly because it's not my choice to divulge another persons personal life.
Motivation comes from things you really believe in, and a desire to achieve them. Everyday things for me aren't things I put much thought into, they aren't motivators, they are the little things we must do to make the big things worth while. When you find motivation, first make sure it's motivation, then go for it. Everything else is just gym time, working out to make yourself stronger for when your really tested.
Aha, this doesn't sound like arrogance, unsympathetic or superfluous! You know what this sounds like? Sounds like you're back to the grounds you were at before the PA's hit (though this time with the knowledge gained only from the experience PA's can bring).
When you no longer have any ideas for PA's you need to conquer, then you just do things you want. When you hit a point where anxiety does hit, then you see something to work on. And the only exposure work you can do for the day to day things, is the day to day things. The feelings you're having now, are residuals leftover from having severe panic attacks. Always challenge these thoughts, just like you've been doing. If you give them a little room in your life, they will demand more. Start denying the demands!
Maybe you can write down things you want to do. Doesn't have to be something you have to do to conquer your PA's, just anything you would like to do...then work at achieving these things. To make it interesting, have your wife add to the list. Then both of you can work towards those adventures!
Last week I began exposure work (week four). Honestly it made very unmotivated. I found the IE exposure helpful but I can't think of ways to do the other exposure work. Perhaps this sounds arrogant, unsympathetic and superfluous to others who perhaps have problems like agoraphobia but I can't think of things to do for exposure because I don't avoid that much. This doesn't mean that I don't still suffer from PA's and lots of anxiety doing any routine activities. Other things that I fear are impractical for me to perform like having ECG measurements (they do freak me out a bit).
I find gyming on a busy night very uncomfortable so I planned doing that through a series of exposure events but then last week Thursday I had to go during peak hours so I did it anyway (with nervousness). So basically I performed my fear level 10 event without going through all the steps. I often feel really nervous driving home and when I arrive at home but I do this every day anyway and I still feel anxious and panicky. I don't know how exposure will help me here.