Hello
so here I am all ticked at myself. My mother inlaw had an open house at her store by invite only, so we were going to go.
I felt great getting ready, did my hair and even put some make-up on! drove the hole 15 min to her store and she was even surprised that I came! That makes you feel good by getting incouragement like that! Well 20 min later I needed some air, was starting to feel the build, and useally if I remove myself and then go back I can cope, felt good for 5 min and started feeling it again. I waited 5 more minutes and went outside again. came back in and hubby asked how I was, said I think I better go. So we talked to his mother for a bit and then it happened, the big attacked felt the legs wanting to go and thought I was going to pass out- I left the conversation and said I'm leaving. he followed me out and I said he should say goodbye. I went out to the car and was going to start it so I could listen to the radio- the d a r n car would start! I'm now sweating and shaking but the worst of the attack was over, thank god I brought my ipod! So I pulled it out and played some games while waiting for my hubby (which took 10 min because these are gabby people) so he comes out and is now trying to start the car, I can feel myself wanting to build again. I so very nicely but firmly said - please go ask your mother for her keys and take me home now! - So I didn't face my fear however it was the last thing on my mind in the store! but I did have to wait it out in the car. Does that count for points? LOL
So now I'm home feeling like a million bucks and cleaned the living room.
I always feel better after I have had a major attack. does anybody else. Its like I have just released all the build up and I feel better. grrrr
I will go back to her store
I will go back to her store
I will go back to her store
See I said it and I wont fear the store, it was not the stores fault I had an attack.
I have not had an attack like that in many months. grrrrrr.
well I guess I need to start trying to forget this stuff (PA)
I felt like I was doing good (stated in other posts) and really improving and then since my family did the little intervention on me I feel like I am back were I started 16 months ago :( and that is was brought me to this site.
I just want to climb a mountain and scream at the top of my lungs that I want my life back (however fear of leaving the house and going across the country to the west seems to be stopping me) LOL
Anyways I feel I have vented a bit!
off to cudle with my little guy :)
Thanks for listening once again!