I miss Dark's epiphanies that he used to bring around from time to time. So I'm adding one to the mix, which in no way compares to how good his were, but maybe someone will get something out of it:
When I was at my worst, suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and agoraphobia...I would hear people talk about how someone said this or that, and how it changed their life. Usually after hearing that one thing, I used to wonder...what's my one thing? What will I hear that will answer my problems and make my fields plush with green grass again?
The answer? Nothing came. Nothing made me go "Wow, that's what I've been waiting to hear without knowing it".
The truth is, my attitude changed. I started by just looking for options I had, not necessarily planning to really explore any of them more then a website could. I eventually reached a point where I thought to myself: I'm not getting better, I may get worse but I don't see how worse can be any worse then right now, and if worse really is worse then...maybe I should get help. I don't want to be like this anymore.
With going through the program here, going to a counselor and meeting and conversing with the perfect mix of intelligence, humbleness, kindness, and all of the above that goes around this board, I found something that works. Something that helped show me there IS a light in all this darkness, and it's up to me to replicate this into my world.
Sounds like a lot, but really it's much easier then it seems. The only time it becomes hard, is when depression or anxiety hit. In those times I remind myself it's temporary, "This too shall pass" I think someone wonderful said on this board. Funny enough that meant nothing 2 weeks ago, until I realized the PA's are temporary. And the anxiety can be controlled. With a little self discipline, help from the coping techniques this wonderful program provides, and maybe a reminder from people who care, and just hoping for hopes sake.
My point of all this rambling, is that I didn't get better until I was willing to accept help. I already accepted something was wrong, but my own insecurities and doubts kept me from going anywhere with this. So I started with what I could, searching for answers and options related to my condition. Then from there, took the big bold step into interaction...the rest is history.
Now, I don't care as much about PA's. If they happen, while I'm in public or private, so be it. Who cares what other people think. So long as I don't hurt or demean them for no reason, then I'm alright with it. The person calling you crazy has doubts about themselves, or are ignorant and petty...those who don't, understand your situation or at least know something is up and it isn't about them, and take no offense. And if I did do something wrong, then I make it known to them that I didn't mean for it, by apologizing. Then I move on.
It's pretty liberating. But understand, it won't happen when you're ready to face what you fear the most, it will only happen when you're willing to face it.
). 
