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Externalizing

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1693

Faith,

What a great way to put it! We should all try to fight out lies with truth

Members, what do you think?

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

That's ok jhori - no worries! (I was wondering if you'd notice!) ;)

Thanks everyone for your responses. Cael, I'm glad it's not just me! I don't want to rely on untruths ("my fear is a separate entity named Joe, at whom I should be angry" or something) to get over this phobia, because the whole phobia itself is based on untruths. They say to fight fire with fire, but I tend to think that we should fight lies with the truth - like the whole idea of challenging our thoughts!

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 466

I just realized I typed CSB, when I meant this for you Faith...my apologies...I posted to CSB just before this and think I brainfarted when replying here and put her name again

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 33

Yes, yes do tell. The whole imagine the worse case scenario in your mind didn't work for me either. Because thinking of getting in a car and driving or riding for that matter, was not the same as experiencing the actual act itself, it was too easy to bring myself back, in my own living room home. I couldn't conjure the thoughts extreme enough to actually feel the panic. I had to actually just go out to the car in my drive way and sit there, first with the door open, so I felt I could breathe, to sitting there with the door shut, doing my breathing exercises. Next came the seat belt, which I hate, because I really feel constricted with the shoulder/lap belt. That was the baby steps to my exposure, I'm able to ride around town now, going out of the city is a case by case scenario, but I will keep trying to master that in the near future.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 12

one of the therapists (that i didn't find very helpful) had me do the same thing! my "anxiety" was "frank." i think it's totally legit to say that this exercise doesn't work for you and how you can deal with your anxiety. i also found it absurd and unhelpful. it must be something that therapists are taught is a good exercise, since i had to do the exact same thing with picturing what he looked like and what i would say to him! ridiculous. i guess it is hard for people without anxiety to know how off-base this is, or maybe it does work for some people. but you have every right to be honest and say that this way of thinking about your anxiety isn't helpful for you, maybe steering it back to the other techniques and telling him why you found them helpful so it can be constructive criticism.

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 466

Your reaction is definitely understandable, CSB. Do what you're comfortable with, and like Josie said, let him know. Maybe instead of saying "shaddup, you're wrong", like I would say, just say you would prefer to go about the exercise in a different way.

I understand not being good at disagreements, too. That's something I definitely had to (re)learn...and am still learning to do actually. Dunno how confident I am in the matter just yet, but this bully aint getting over on me dagnabit!

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 12049

Faith, Thanks for sharing such a personal experience. Do share these thoughts with your therapist and let them know how this made you feel. You can both determine if this exercise is not for you or if it is worth a try. The outcome that your looking for is achievable is many ways, so give it a chance and be sure to communicate your feelings and thoughts first.

Josie, Health Educator

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

I don't really know if this is the right place to put this or not, but here it is!

I had a really bad experience at my latest appointment yesterday with my psychologist. So far, I've been learning helpful things like ways to challenge my thoughts and relaxation techniques. Yesterday, I really wasn't a fan of his new suggestion. He told me I should give my anxiety/fear a facetious nickname, something that kind of makes fun of it and makes it seem silly. I drew a total blank. He gave me an example - that one of his clients had called her anxiety "Scarecrow" because it scared her but it actually wasn't anything scary, like a scarecrow scares crows but it's really just clothes on a stick. I said I didn't like thinking about my fear as some separate being - it's just a way that I have become accustomed to think, not an external thing.

He said it helps people to think of their fear (or anxiety, or whatever the problem is) as something outside themselves ("externalize" it) because then they can get angry at it. I don't know about you all, but I don't find anger to be a productive emotion at all, and I'd rather avoid it than try to come up with some, which is what he wants me to do. I guess I understand the concept, but I'm really uncomfortable with it and don't think it will work for

me personally.

He even tried to get me to describe what my fear looked like physically. All I felt like saying was that it was just like darkness, so he took off on that - "So it's dark in colour? How big is it?" I felt like getting up and walking out, I felt so patronized, like I was a little kid that was supposed to imagine my fear as a monster!!!!

I'm not really good at disagreements, so I didn't tell him this at the time, but I'll work up to telling him next week that I'm not really willing to do this one. My problem is I feel like I'll burst into tears if I try to speak sometimes, and that's what I felt like during my appointment - I couldn't get out the words to him that I wasn't comfortable with this idea.

Help me out!! Is my reaction reasonable? Or should I actually consider this ridiculous exercise?? Everything else has been based on logical thinking, and all of a sudden I'm supposed to go backwards and start making things up?? I don't get it!

Thanks for reading! :)

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