Is it possible for you to consider creating smaller goals initially? Perhaps you could walk up to the next block or a landmark that is a short distance away from your starting point and repeat this a few times; then once you are comfortable you can increase the distance by a few meters each time?
In one word - none. I am sorry to say. I had to stay in tonight because of the weather, you see on a scale of 1 - 10 this is a 10 fear - not being able to get out for a walk at night. I had a panic attack, not a full-blown one ( thank God), but bad enough. I catastrophise so well that I can whip myself into quite a frenzy and of course we know what that leads to - escalation of the attack. You see I have convinced myself there is something really wrong with me because I have these mood swings. As I was saying to Joe a lot of the time I am frightened something is going to happen to me, so I get more frightened and then I feel worse.
The sad part is I know so much about this disorder because you wouldn''t believe it but I have spent over I think $200 on books on Anxiety Disorders and Depression. One of my social workers said I could teach people about the disorders, but putting into practice for myself is well extremely hard to do.
Having admitted to all that doesn't make me feel good, but there it is out in the open. I would welcome any suggestions on coping methods from anyone because my way just ain't working for me.
Not a good day today, it's the emotional roller coaster again. One minute I am laughing the next minute I feel like squealing. Some days I think I am getting better and that's exactly what my mum said that I am getting better. I know no one can be on an even keel all the time, but this up/down business gets too much at times.
Just had to vent, hopefully I'll feel better later after all I do have my final english essay to prepare for. Oh boy.
I definitely understand wanting to give up at times, but soldiering through them...times like that, are what make us stronger. So cheers for being a soldier!
Aha, I used to think those hollywood star people were just crying for attention, trying to stay in the limelight. I still think many are, but there are those who aren't. I try to be less judge-mental about them now...figure they do what they do for a reason, doesn't affect me any.
Had that lingering feeling that something was going to happen, 9 times out of 10 I accept it, don't give it too much and it passes. Doesn't matter too much if you already began fearing for fears sake at these times...it does make it feel a bit harder...but accept it, let it do it's thing and it'll pass.
As for the poor little soul, just because it's time in this world is over, doesn't mean there isn't another world for it to fly in.
You haven't made it sound trivial, just from your posts I know that you are someone who has been there.
As for not giving up, way to go Joe. I too am the kind not to give up as I have already been through Panic Disorder, Depression and now am going through GAD. It's just at times that I feel like giving up, but I never would.
Thanks for asking about how it is with mum now. Well we are talking and went out for our usual nightly walk, I know it's really hard for mum me being an emotional roller coaster. I tend to jump to conclusions and a lot of the time they are wrong. I have told mum that during my 3 weeks off for Christmas break I will try to look for a psychotherapist close to me as I believe I need the supervision and structure therapy brings. I think it's time to try therapy again. You know years ago I would hear about some Hollywood star in therapy and thought - wow. Now I'm in need of help.
Have you ever had the feeling that something is going to happen to you but you don't know what, it's a feeling of fear and uneasiness. I have had this on/off (more on than off) since my depression last December and sometimes it really gets to me, like tonight.
As for that poor little soul that died, I thought maybe if we had got there sooner it might have had a chance.
I've been through a lot before this, so this is just another obstacle to overcome in my eyes. I don't mean to sound like this is little, or that I'm bigger then I am, it definitely isn't easy! I'm just not the type to give in. I now know the same thing you stated, that negativity snowballs into more negativity. Knowing this, I'd rather combat it, then let it have the control it once had. As always, easier said then done, but this journey doesn't begin with sunshine and lollipops...least not in my case...but I will turn it into that!
Sorry to hear about the bird, it had to have felt loved in the end with you two putting so much focus on helping it.
Since your last post, have you been able to speak to your mum about what happened between the two of you? Perhaps after taking the walk and having some space, you can come back to the discussion and let her know how you feel?
Although the incident with the bird was hard for you, you should know that you did all (and more) that you could!
Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing.