Silver,
Preparation is key. You're doing great things for yourself by preparing for times that you think may be difficult or that have been difficult in the past.
Keep letting us know how you are doing. We're here for you!
I wanted to add to this for other's reading that my husband died December 18th 2006, and a tragic incident occurred 3 years prior to that on boxing day (December 26). So I know all to well about the xmas blue's.
This year though, I started to 'prepare' myself all year to make this a good, (hopefully fun), memorable new start. I threw out all my old christmas stuff, and this year bought all brand new, everything, from the tree, to the decorations, to a very elegant table setting, (Martha Stewart would be proud and this week I started to work on all the xmas goodie recipes and thing's that I need for the holiday. I've even invited someone to join my family as they will be alone at xmas.
Nothing is going to change the facts, and it may be very very possible that I will have the xmas blue's, but I'm preparing for that as well (good ol' ocd kicking in ) but one of the first thing's I plan to do is light a candle for my husband's loss, memory, and spirit, and a candle regarding the other incident, so that I can celebrate, or at least face straight on every moment of the candles burning that I am learning, trying, accepting but not forgetting.
How to avoid Holiday Stress Part 1. Recognize
your feelings.Christmas is a difficult time of year for many.Some may not have close friends and family
and its okay to be sad.It’s important
at this time to express your feelings and to seek support. Don’t forget that
you’re not the only one going through the same emotions. Support groups are
great for individuals in need of someone to talk to. Seek
support. If you feel isolated or down, seek out
family members and friends, or community, religious or social services. They
can offer support and companionship. Consider volunteering at a community or
religious function. Getting involved and helping others can lift your spirits
and broaden your social circle. Also, enlist support for organizing holiday
gatherings, as well as meal preparation and cleanup. You don't have to go it
alone. Don't be a martyr.