Hi Sarah.
I'm new here, but I completely understand what you're going through. I've been having the same symptoms that you describe for about a month and a half now--waking too early, stomach upset in the mornings, all of it. I missed a lot of work in January, too.
My MD tried Xanax and Lunesta for me, but neither of them worked. For that matter, neither did melatonin or Calms Forte. I am very fortunate that my boss is also an anxiety person and is on the same medication that I am, so he was very understanding about me needing to take time off. Do you have any recourse for sick leave at your job, or a supervisor or HR department that would be sensitive to your medical needs?
If you can, here are some things that have worked for me:
--When I wake up anxious and feeling awful, I go sit in my living room and put on some peaceful music. I write in my journal--sometimes it's flow of consciousness, sometimes it's just me moaning to myself about how I want to feel better, but I just write and write. A lot of the time, it helps get the thoughts out of my head.
--As much as I can, I FORCE myself to eat something. I know it's totally counterintuitive b/c your stomach feels awful and, at least for me, I'm always afraid that if I eat, I'm going to throw up. But I just force myself to do it, and even though I still have the anxious thought, I haven't thrown up from actually eating yet. And having something on my stomach makes me feel better. Try bananas or yogurt. I got the Danactive yogurt shots drinks and use it to take my medication in the morning. The live cultures have helped with some of my stomach problems over the last couple of days--or, at least, the diarrhea isn't so severe.
--Massage. I'm trying to go once a month because it really helps me relax and I sleep better on the nights that I get massage. I know it seems expensive and self-indulgent, but if it helps you function better and feel better, it's worth it. Check into massage therapy schools in your area--a lot of the time, they are open to the public at discounted rates that are sometimes as much as 2/3 cheaper than spas!
--For sleeping.... of course, be sure to check that it isn't contraindicated with any of your medications, but the thing I've found that works best for me is an herbal supplement from Gaia Herbs called Sound Sleep. You can get it online or at health food stores like Whole Foods. You take 2 an hour before bed and you can eat with them if you want--unlike Xanax or Lunesta, having something to eat with Sound Sleep doesn't totally interfere with the pills' efficacy. I've managed to get 6 to 7 hours of sleep at a stretch with the Sound Sleep, and I wake up feeling like I actually slept (whereas with Xanax and Lunesta, I felt like I just got knocked unconscious for 5 hours and didn't really sleep) and I dream. If you can't find Sound Sleep, there's a very similar supplement at Walgreen's with the sleep aids that's called something like Pretty In Pink--bright pink package shaped like a handbag.
I hope that helps some. Mornings are still hard for me, too, and I lose patience from time to time. In fact, I lost patience today and got upset about it. But if we stay diligent and keep working and paying attention, we will get better. A little bit every day. It's my hope that one day, out of the blue, I'll realize that I've felt good for a while and hadn't even noticed it. And then I can look back and see that I've stopped living the questions and started living the answers. You're not alone, sweetheart, and I hope you can find something in my response that helps you. *hugs*
