It sounds like you had a really difficult experience. However, you were able to get through that and this should be recognized as an achievement!
Also, it can be incredibly frustrating when people tell you that your fears are not valid. However, it is important through all of this to focus on yourself as the priority and to not let others' view influence how you perceive yourself. This may be harder than it sounds but with perseverance and patience, you can do it!
You mentioned that you behave in certain situations because you have done so in the past. Perhaps reflecting on why you have behaved that way in the past would help you challenge these fears. Was it from an earlier experience? Something you have not been able to address before?
Have you started the homework for session one? Are you in need of clarification on this part?
Please let us know the difficulties you are experiencing and we will do our best help clarify things. That is what we are here for!
I just read session one and am confused. The reason I fear behaving in a certain in way in certain situations (heights) is because I have already behaved in this way. I went hiking with my family (5 year, 7 year old, and my partner) and at an exposed part of the trail I completely collapsed-- meaning I literally hit the ground and could not properly relate with my surroundings. I actually left my 7 year old girl out on the exposed part of the trail where I lost it... I had crawled on my hands and knees to an area with a small rock wall and a root that I could cling to. How terrible is that???? Could I have behaved any worse? As a mother it is absolutely unthinkable to leave your child somewhere you don't feel safe! My 5 year old actually had to walk me down the mountain (she taking the side of the trail with the cliff beside it) talking to me about strawberries so I wouldn't completely lose it and hit the ground again. Just even seeing the images in my mind, I can almost feel the sky pressing down on me, squishing me against the ground. I would like to over come this, to try to make it to the peak again (this time without my children present), but I am very frightened of humiliating myself... do you have any idea how demoralizing it is to hear people tell you that there is nothing to be afraid of, and you are really missing out... its not that far... etc.? And as for not being able to escape- that was real possibility ... if I had gotten down my belly I would not have gotten up again. Someone would have had to call a rescue team and they would have to drug me and drag me out of there-- with great cost to my self-esteem and bank account.
