Lore, thank you for your perspective -- I had not thought of it that way!
One of the things that I really wonder, and have not seen addressed here is that besides the very few panic attacks that I've had, in relation to the extreme avoidance I practice, is how these attacks come about.
Can anyone relate to this? I will be actually enjoying myself in a store or something like that, and it's like I'm so engrossed in what I'm doing.. and enjoying myself.. Then, my mind just sort of wakes up and goes "wait! What are you doing? Wake up and panic!!!" Something like that. I'd read some things regarding trances, and how some people have issues with fluorescent lights causing mini-trancing, and when you are startled out of it, you have a panic attack because you're suddenly hyper aware of your surroundings. Much like being woken up suddenly from a deep sleep. I notice that this happens to me when I'm in stores with high ceilings, and often I've figured it out that it happens when a heater or air blower type noise starts up. LIke I'm groovin' along totally lost in what I'm doing, but something in the environment changes (like a heater blower coming on, or a new sound like that) and off I go into panic thoughts.
Has anyone experienced anything like that? I don't believe that I have a Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but it's more a situational thing, with extreme avoidance now that I'm working through thanks to this program.
No matter how much it looks better to have typically experienced what the rest of the world has, I don't find a bit silly that you've had to turn things down out of fear. We all have our own struggles and it's certainly pressuring to watch other's lives who've 'experienced' so much... but in the end, how much did they really learn? I bet you learned as much, with even one experience.
"Each person must struggle in his own way and seek his own meaning." -Arnold Beisser
Oh, and excuse me in advance for my interesting typos. My brain works faster than my fingers! And I have a snazzy new keyboard that allows me to type waay too fast! :)
As I'm working through the PC program this week, one thing that really stands out for me is that I have had very few panic attacks in my life, and yet so many years of agoraphobia. I can say, that in the past 35 years of having on and off agoraphobia, I have probably only had 10 panic attacks at the most. That first one was so terrifying, at 16, that it literally set the stage for this recurring drama in my life for all these years. My avoidance is definitely the problem. And the ensuing panic attacks since that first one, have been mostly in response to being nervous about having one, and the others have been in response to being tired or stressed out.
I'm just really looking forward to completely this CBT program, because I fell that it really addresses the avoidance, so that I can show myself not to be afraid to do the things I really want to do. You know, sometimes I shake my head that the idea that ONE 10 minute instance, when I was 16, has changed my life forever and kept me from doing so many fun things, and achieving my potential. When I think about the things that I've turned down out of fear.. it just seems so silly. All because of a stress/hormonal imbalance when I was 16 (I had just had a baby and given it up for adoption weeks before that first attack.)
