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Making plans

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Sunny

Well there is a distraction I hadn't thought of. We all know that distractions like writing work. Do you think we can get people to post there favourite distractions? I am always looking for new ones and I think we should give each other all the help we can.

Davit.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hi redesertflower,

First of all congratulations on taking the step and making the plans to see the play. You have received so much great feedback and tips from your fellow members. Use what you think will work best for you and enjoy the play. Know that we will be with you and supporting you. Check in to let us know how it goes!

Samantha, Health Educator

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 192

Hi: Just a suggestion - I knew someone who used to carry a small rubber ball in her handbag. When she was at the movies or somewhere where no one could really see - she would keep it in her hand and squeeze it over and over - like chewing gum...it's a distraction and it helps release tension.

Don't forget to do a relaxation excerise before leaving and do a mini one while you are seated - no one will know. Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 420

Hi AmJ!

I want to thank you for your support and suggestions. I really like your positive way of thinking and rewarding yourself for each step you make towards a goal. I am going to start doing this from now on. You are right I am going to look forward to telling myself how great I am doing. I think making it through this Exposure will be a major Achievement for me and will Open Up so many new windows in my world.

Red

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 420

Davit.

Thank you for your support and suggestions. I am going to work on the list of positive things and continue to challenge the negative ones. I already see just thinking about it that there are many more positives than negatives. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. My mantra is going to be "I am OK, I can do this"

Thanks again as always

Red

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 50

Hi Red,

I have been working on Exposure for the past 3 weeks. I have been attempting to go a little farther everyday. One of the members on the site suggested congratulating yourself for each step you take toward your goal. Literally, like getting in the car, buckling up, and backing out of the driveway. That really helped me. I carry with me a little diary at all times and pull it out to write whenever I am in a situation where my anxiety symptoms start. If I am stuck in traffic (sitting still of course) I will jot down quickly my symptoms and feelings and remind myself that how good I feel when I accomplish what I set out to do. Whether that is getting to an apointment, getting to a restaurant, paying a bill etc. If I am waiting in a restaurant for a meal I again jot down whats going on, where I am, and what I feel. I always remember to tell myself that I will feel so good to accomplish what I set out to do no matter how big or small. Look forward to telling yourself how good you did later on.

Good Luck

AMJ

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Red

Here is a quick fix that may get you through this. I presume you have had other outings that you survived. Write them down in a column, the more the better but even just one will do.

Beside each write what happened and though it was bad you are still here and it didn't kill you. Then write the good things you remembered about each outing. Find more good things than bad. Now comes the interesting part. Since a good part of the problem is thought. Negative thought to be sure. Challenge each one of those negative thoughts.

"I'm not going to pass out, (or puke) other people don't." "My partner is here and he is not going to pass out, so I won't either" " I didn't last time so why will I now, I'm just being silly." Right about here you probably think ,"What does he know". Been there done that. I KNOW this works. Ask others.

Any thought will do and if they turn into a mantra all the better. Your partner is your safe spot. When the pressure starts to build use him for a distraction. Count his buttons, check the lint in his pockets, (ears, what ever) The busier you are the less room for negative thought to enter your mind. Any calm distraction you can concentrate on will do.

This is important. Don't choke up. Breath slowly but normally. Look up box breathing and learn it.

And the really important one is this "I can do this for my partner, I can crash and cry when I get home."

Believe me there is a reason behind why these work.

Oh and the biggy. My heart is running too fast. It is supposed to!! You are doing something exciting it will slow down if you let it. Your partner can support you by keeping you occupied But not by asking you any thing you will have to think on too hard. And above all DO NOT let him ask if you want to go. This is suggestive and then you will have to. As a last resort close your eyes and say ,"I am Ok, I can do this."

Have to go I have an appointment.

Good luck.

Davit.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 420

Hi anerol !

Its nice to meet you too. Thanks for the support and encouragement. Its good to know that I am not the only one with this problem. Good luck to you too!

Red

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 517

Hi Red,

Nice to meet you. I think it's great that you've attempted just even planning, something you've feared... that in all is a giant step and an inspiration to me, since I still haven't planned anything for the same reasons. This is easier said than done, but if it works, it would be a great achievement, and if it doesn't, you still learn that you need more time. You can always leave and there will be tomorrow, is something my sister tells me. But I'm always hoping I can accomplish my ideals too. Good luck!

anerol

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 420

Making plans ahead is something I never do because I figure I will just get to anxious and get sick and not be able to go.

I made plans this week to go to a play which is something I have always wanted to do. Tomorrow is the big day and of course I am feeling anxious about going and my anxiety is trying to set in and get a hold of me. We have paid for the tickets in advance so I really have to go and I want to go. I just hate this anxiety thats all. Challenging my anxious and negative thoughts and doing exposure is really hard work. My partner made plans to go to Catalina Island for my birthday last year but we had to cancel because of my anxiety of being in crowds. I really do need to do this tomorrow so that I can get better and start enjoying my life. I am trying really hard to not let myself get worked up today and trying to stay focused on the positive. Any ideas on how to do this would be greatly appreciated.

Red

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