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OCD of feeling guilty

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Good Morning Wrestler: The human body is beautiful - whether you are eligible for those types of photos or not. I studied sculpture and life modeling was one of my favourites. We had male and female models, old and young. We had one particular older gentleman in his 50's, who was a real pro - he knew all the poses and he was terrific. Had him for life sketching too. Same with the ladies, fat and thin, etc. The body is just beautiful to me, so many curves and angles and so many different looks, but basically - all the same.

I want to say, at the beginning - new students are a little uncomfortable which is natural as we don't usually go around naked and are taught to be modest - and you don't want to be a "voyeur", which again may cause some guilt feelings as we are taught to turn away, but as soon as you start to work - all in a circle around the model - you forget and just see the body for what it is - one of God's beautiful creations.

You sound pretty normal to me, you don't act on impulse and are devoted to your wife.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 195

Thanks everyone. I just came back and read all the responses now. I had already had the discussion with my wife about 2 hours ago before I read any of these. She wasn't mad. She wasn't shocked. I told her I do not think about having sex with any of the women pictured, and she is all I want. She already knew this and knew I would never cheat on her. She has always known I was never into real porn, but knew I liked the page 3 type sites (It's a British thing). In America we are kind of repressed, but in England, they have suggestive poses on page 3 of most of the tabloids.

I told her I was sorry and that I have been carrying trememdous guilt and that having OCD only compounded it.

Funny thing is, my wife was depressed earlier when she was outside watering the lawn. She told me she knew I was upset about something and she figured it was this. I had been giving little hints until I finally built of the nerve to tell her of my guilt feelings.

I know the guilt thing comes from growing up in a house where sex was not openly discussed, but my Father did have Playboys in his closet during his second marriage and that my Mom approved of it. (My Mother died in 1976 and he remarried in 1980).

Anyway, the OCD cannot go away right away and I told my wife we'd probably have this discussion again, but I feel a lot more relieved. I was repressing which was feeding the OCD.

OCD feels like the movie Ground Hog Day sometimes.

You guys are great,

David

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Whrestler.

I know a travelling sales man who says "you get your appetite on the road but the meal is at home." He sees a lot of attractive women and has to put up with come ons. All it does is make him love his wife more. The magazines are designed to draw your attention. And the women are attractive but it is all so artificial. A lot of money goes into drawing you. And you are not the only one. I am single (still) and male and I can appreciate a beautiful woman but that is all. Just like I can appreciate a lovely sunset. I was brought up to believe that if I looked at a beautiful woman with or without her cloths on that I would go to hell. Look at the renaissance both men and women in what was considered in that time as beauty. The only reason there is a guilty feeling is because you are conditioned to feel it. Remember how panic sneaks in and compounds itself. The more you look for the panic the more it shows up. I can guarantee you the less you feel guilty the less you will be interested. Pornography is so disgusting that if you don't laugh at it then you should be concerned but a beautiful body for arts sake, Is not the same.

The fact that it concerns you enough to post it shows that you have nothing to be concerned about. I would say don't let it bother you. And don't tell me women can't appreciate a well proportioned male form. One of my married friends says she will stop looking when she is dead. We tease her about being a dirty old woman and she just laughs. She pokes her husband in the ribs and says "why can't you look like that."

Lets hear from the women. I'm a man so I could be biased.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Wrestler,

You are only human. Once you are married doesn't mean you only ever will just be attracted to your wife. It is completely normal and even healthy to find others attractive. You are not acting on this attraction and it doesn't mean you love your wife any less. These women on men's magazines are paid to look good and these pictures are enhanced for them to look even better. If you said you didn't think any of these picture attractive I would be a little concerned. What do you think makes you shy about it? Where do you think this guilt is coming from?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 538

Hi Wrester,

I am not a therapist...but I have been married to the same man for 22 years....so I think I can offer you a bit af advice. Talk to your wife. Thats it....just open up the dialog and talk. It seems like you have a good realtionship, so it can handle this. Someone once told me that guilt is just another form of worry...

Cleo

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 195

I also want to add that we have had discussions in the past of who we both think are attractive of the opposite gender, but I just have a guilt feeling over the fact that I do look at these magazines once in a while.

It's weird how when you feel completely overwhelmed with panic and anxiety (like I was over thw winter), and then start to feel better, things that are real are harder to deal with on the way back to feeling like yourself again.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 195

I feel really silly about posting this, but I have been having guilt issues and having OCD makes it worse.

I have been doing a whole lot better with anxiety/panic and all the rest of the lovely symptoms that go along with having anxiety and depression disorders. That's what makes me feel so silly about this now that I have been feeling a lot better.

It's of a sexual nature, but does not involve cheating because I would never do that. I am devoted to my wife. It does not even involve anyone I know personally. It's about me looking at certain men's magazines once in a while (not the porn ones) and thinking someone is attractive other than my wife. I know there are married couples that have no problem with it, but I am a guy who is very shy about it and don't want to hurt my wife's feelings.

So this is just my latest basic OCD set back and involves something real rather than the far out unreal stuff that plagued me over the winter. I know it is bothering me right now because my anxiety level is high which makes my OCD worse.

Anyway, I hope this topic is OK for this forum. I would welcome any thoughts on this.

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OCD of feeling guilty