That is a good way to put it. I have a safe place too. The house. I'm trying to add the library as one but there are times I get used to it but mostly I am still nervous... I know if I can exposure everyday, I would get used to it better but, I'm afraid to go myself and my support person has work. So many excuses.
I discovered that I am living in more than one space, like many rooms. There is the room I live in and then there are the rooms I want to live in and a lot of the anxiety I feel comes from travelling from one to another. But the worst is when the pressure of trying to stay in a room other than my safe room drives me back to my safe room. Then for a small while I get depressed or worse yet, mad. I did not realize I was doing this and when I did then there was this huge relief because now I have something I can focus on. I was explaining this to my therapist and she told me it was OK to live in my safe room for short periods of time but not to allow myself too much time there. Think of these spaces as circles in close proximity but not touching. I am trying to bring them closer till they overlap and one day will all be just one space. There is the space I have to go to to go shopping, and the space I have to go to to deal with people in the coffee shop. There is the space I have to go to to use the phone. This one has sub spaces because some times it is no trouble at all. The distance between these spaces used to be a lot farther apart and I would always be looking over my shoulder to see how far I was getting from my safe space. It took a lot of pleasure out of doing any thing away from my safe space. Some of the spaces are touching now and travelling from one to the other has become easier with out the shoulder checking. My goal is too incorporate them all so that I can not tell one from the other and will no longer be travelling from one to the other but living in all of them at the same time. And if I need a safe space I want it to be a small space firmly attached to the other spaces. In my mind I see all these spaces as circles that I am slowly bringing closer together. It gives me something to get a grasp on and also a way to judge my progress. How many of you do you think are living in a safe space and having a hard time venturing out. The pressure of living in one space and looking out at all the spaces I wanted to be in but couldn't was giving me headaches and nausea so bad I wanted to cry. It is much better now that I know why and what I have to do. Little steps and reaching out with both hands and pulling the circles closer together so I am more comfortable travelling from one to the other. It is far easier to spend time in another space if I can see my home space is right there if I need it.
It never seethes to amaze me what the mind can do, and how damaging some of it can be if we let it.
