Thank you very much. I actually do believe in evolution as well as God. I often get criticized for this especially because I live in such a religious town. After reading what you wrote I felt much better and looked inside to see that I was really making my panic worse. You are right, God is a loving god and loves all, I feel slightly bad about doubting that and thinking he was the cause of my panic attacks.
We tend to exaggerate negative thought, but worse is looking for reasons for panic that are not reasonable. The bible states that God is a loving God. It also states that at the resurrection all will be judged. NOT BEFORE. He wants your love freely, he will not influence your choice. But the devil does not play by the same rules. No one that wants your love will threaten you or influence you. No one.
The only one making your panic worse is you. You are reaching out anywhere you can for a reason. Consider the two to be coincidence. Your back ground has built you a core belief that is influencing your thought. You, not God. I would say it is that you do not want to do the research paper because it goes against your religious belief. Can you change it to something more in line with your thinking. Or can you change your perception of this core belief that God is punishing you to a positive thought that God will not do this to you. Even use it as a mantra.
Christians are allowed to use a mantra. (monks chanting.) Even people who do not believe or are not sure find the video calming.
Use the ten questions when you are not sure of something.
We are here for you, and no one will criticize you, Comment and even disagree but all with good intentions. We are a group after all.
It was quite beautiful and helped me come down from an attack.
It also made me wonder....
For school I am writing a research paper on evolution. Is God punishing me for writing and this theory that goes against his theory of creation? Is he making my panics worse because of it?
