Hi Everyone,
Thanks again for all the replies and encouraging words. Like I said, its so nice to be able to hear from people who are going through, or who went through similar struggles. Only my family, boyfriend, and a couple good friends know about my anxiety issues. I have one really close friend who went thru a serious struggle with depression, but shes fine now, but other than that...I dont know anyone who deals with this. The problem is, I can't really tell anyone because of my profession. It is frowned upon in my field of work, which I personally think is disgusting because anxiety doesnt make me who I am, and thankfully I can realize that. Anyways, my family is wonderfully supportive, and my boyfriend remains positive as long as I do. Thats our deal. I'm just having a hard time right now being positive. When I get really anxious, I have really taken to box breathing, which makes me feel so calm and just nice on the inside. Its hard to explain, but I think you all can relate - you know when you find what it is that makes you relax. And when that doesnt work, I do have ativan, which I don't use that often because I am trying to control the attacks on my own. I feel like I am going in the right direction, but it seems to be coming slowly. I mean, I notice a huge difference from when I first started taking my meds almost a month ago. But there seemed to be a huge jump, which now is followed by a plateau. I can hold it together while I have to, but when I get home at night, I am exhausted and when I have stressful days, its even worse. I cant wait for my first CBT appointment tomorrow. Its coming at a really good time.
Anyways, thanks again for listening. I love hearing your comments and such, they mean a lot, and I value them very much.
Hope everyone else is doing well,
m03