Hi Everyone
Yes, its me Juanita.
I'm back...I need to vent to people who really know what its like..
well, I thought I was cured....or at least controlled with my SSRI , and my CBT work.... I went months and months without any anxiety...no panic..even did my exposures and all was fine..I really thought I had it made, I was so happy.
iI left the site thinking that I couldn't get more from it, and at the same time felt like I couldn't offer anything new.
Ofcourse youknow where this is leading..the ugly demon raised its head again...here it goes...
Saturday I was meeting a friend for coffee before work...all was great..I entered the restaurant, and it was hot in there...no biggie I thougth...ordered my tea, and my friend showed up.
Then, out of nowhere, I started to sweat..I don't mean a bit of perspiration...my head..all of it, chest and neck, were soaked with sweat...I couldnt even concentrate on talking....then the panic signs showed up..the usual what ifs, and tingles in my arms etc....even when I got to work I had to go sit outside for 10 mins..a nice person brought me a fan..anyhow, it took over an hour..finally I was back to normal...well except I obsessed and worried about it most of the evening.
I did fight it ..used my brerathing and questions....and won...but it was iffy for a bit..and then I was so down..thinking I'll never be totally cured...
I wrote down everything last nite about my thoughts and such ,leading up to the attack..
Of course hubby is still overseas..there's been killings in the camp where he is at..which added some worry too me..then we had a long-distance Skype arguement over our sons behaviour...all the little daily stressors that are pretty easy to deal with when he's here all seemed to add up, leaving me feel a little lost, and I'm due for my period...(pms?)then... I am 47..could that have been my first hot flash which I hyper-vigilized myself into a panic attack?
I'm leaning that way, just because all my previous panic attacks started with rapid heart beat and dizziness..I dont know, but I guess that would be a question for the expert.
I have just read a lot of the posts I missed..and I want to wish Cnd Guy a speedy recovery...and to all the new ones a big hello...
I"m hardly cool... both in personality and body heat..hahah .that day , I thought I was going to spontanously combust...to all the menopausal women out there.. how do you handle it? I've just been reading about it and I guess anxiety with a hot flash is quite common ...I thought oh great! just when I had it licked!! ha...
Ok, enough for now..thanks for letting me rant..it does feel better knowing people who read it really understand..I hope I didnt bring anyone down...
But it now feels like I will be dealing with panic forever, and it sucks
Juanita/MaryK..