i dont know why i dont like the meds, maybe its because it interferes with my social life, i need to be social thats the kind of animal i am, maybe i am moving too fast.maybe its becuase i feel the meds make my brain move slow.
i also think that the support that i once got (when i first started having panic attacks) has gone a bit, thats a bit disheartening. everytime i blink i see am image of myself screaming, thats weird. it is a stressful time in my life, but i always welcomed challenges, now i have anxiety whenever i am in a situation i once relished.
i wrote a letter addressed to my ex, poured my heart, soul, hate, anger, sadness and rage into it, then burned it addressed to the universe, do i have any closure...only time will tell. all i know is i am tired all the time. i am in pain from the stress and i feel i moved so far forward without looking back that i ended up back at the start line.
the potential for me to have a great and wonderful exists, i can feel it, i can see it but i can't quite get there at the moment.
SH