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Iam starting to learn something..

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 424

Thanks everyone..you all do inspire me!!!

Bren

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

On July 24th 2008 in the morning I slipped and fell off a tractor and shattered my femur. Because it had broke and twisted and slid up cutting on its way I could not move very far.

It cut a lot of nerves so I imagine it was not as painful as your fall. LOL. I still have the tractor.

It is funny that I got rid of the horses for fear of falling.

The worst was getting Staph infection in a disc.

Yes! I think this mentally getting worse when I physically get better makes sense to me but I still get people saying I should be happy. I guess they need to go through it or maybe for more years. Yes years. I need to spend less time on the future, it is going to come whether I want it to or not.

The thing though is that at the end of the day when I am resting on the lawn watching the swallows it is okay. After so many years of struggling by myself and worrying that what little pleasure I had was going to be taken away again I have left it to some other force in my life.

And now it is getting far better. Worry does increase pain.

I am going to have company from a long ways away in a couple of hours, I had best get ready.

~m You are so much better, I am glad you can see the improvement it means like me you are not going to let this thing get the upper hand.

Your friend,

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 376

Davit,

Thank you for sharing your journey out of the depths of pain and disability. What gifts you and your life story are for us who are here seeking inspiration and guidance. Your discussion here about pain so resonates with me: no fear about dying just pure longing... the panic as you got better, rather than during it.... the uncertainty of re-entering the world.... with every accomplishment comes the freaking out.

I've had my share of physical pain... most recent was falling off my horse in 2008 (exactly 1 year from when M died...always thought there had to be some connection there). I was hospitalized for a week with every rib on my left side fractured in multiple places. I also broke my shoulder in three places. It took a long time to heal. Still bothers me if I do too much lifting. No longer have the horse.

So, yes, I have had some physical pain... though not nearly to the extent of yours. What really, really resonates with me is the similarity of what I felt/feel surrounding recovery for my mental health issues. (I have to say that in the past 10 years I've made some wonderful progress... (many of the "finishing touches" coming thanks to Evolution Health sites this past year... Yay!)) But prior to that I had numerous diagnosies, many hospital stays, lots of psych drug adjustments, struggled with self-injury, depression, PTSD, eating disorders, etc., etc., etc. A LOT of mental pain. In 2000 I received a three month series of Electro-Convulsive Therapy (ECT). I've been on disability since then as I was unable to work at a job at which I once was very good.

My greatest fear is that if I am not duly diligent in staying mentally well... I will return to ECT. This is a belief I need to unravel or cover or something. This is a true fear. A real anxiety. What you say about attitude is so important. What you say about just focusing on today's pain instead of fearing the future... all this rings true for me. You have expressed this brilliantly and I look forward to learning the living (truly living) strategies that you have learned and are modeling for us.

I feel like I'm sort of babbling here.... but you just took my breath away with your post... I needed to hear this.... your pain is unique to you.... but also so resoundingly similar in impact to my own.... I guess that is why these forums work so well. So much insight, encouragement, and hope to be shared. Thank you so much... all of you... here to share and encourage.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 376

Hello Bren. Welcome to this site. It is truly thrilling to watch your confidence grow as you put the tools here to use. Thank you for your honesty and for the updates. I'm excited for you and inspired to work harder on my own recovery. Congratulations on your recent success.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hello bren,

I am glad you are learning a lot about and in turn are feeling better. Knowledge can be really helpful, in fact this is one of the main reasons why we encourage members to work on the program.

Members, what have you learned using the program?

Samantha, Health Educator

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

Brenda,

If you see it is not a long term thing, that is progress

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hi Brenda.

Just wondering if you know that Ibuprophen is an anti inflammatory and has to be with food and Tylenol is only a pain killer. That the two can be used together within limits and that Tylenol 3s only have 325 mg Tylenol in them and are mostly codeine. I used quite a bit of Robaxacet at the time I used to get it. But I knew after the first time it went away that it would the next time too. I never worried about riding my horses either I just watched how I lifted things. When I did get panic attacks they were not, then, related to pain.

Now the staph infection was a different storey. It was so horrible I wanted to die. I wasn't afraid of dying, I actually wanted too. I was never given the opportunity and I am mostly happy I am still here.

Where I used to get panic was when I would get better. It is odd but the disability and pain was real and I knew where I stood. When it was time to re enter the world again I freaked. I didn't know how or what I could do any more. There was still some pain but my safe routine was gone. I was going to have to clean and cook and shop and I didn't know if I could. And every time I proved I could still do something, something else that I now had to do would have me panicking. Bad too. I built some pretty negative core beliefs on my seven year period of pain and incapability. Now I'm unravelling them.

They are still there but I have built a positive one on them. It is that it is possible to tolerate long periods of intense pain if you have something or some one to look forward to when it is over or even if it is only giving you temporary relief.

For me it is attitude since I already know what I'm dealing with and my attitude now is that concentrating on making and enjoying small periods of pleasure when ever I can is worth all I go through to have them. I still lose it once in a while when the pain or disfunction just won't go away. But this too I know passes. It is one heck of a world we are forced to live in with our pain but the alternative is permanent, so I guess it isn't that bad.

One thing I hang onto is that I can remember having had pain but not the actual sensation. I know when pain passes that I will never actually feel it again till the next time it happens. So I only have to get through what ever pain I have at the moment. That from the past doesn't count, nor does the pain from the future since I don't actually know if I will ever have any again or how much or when.

It takes a lot of positives to block the negatives from pain, but I am doing it. Even if I do have to have a special bed and still sometimes sleep in my chair.

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 424

I have been learning alot today,about my sciatica, and it seems its not a long term thing,most will go away in due time,and ibprophine,tylonol,back rubs,ice paks,will help with all this,now i have learned that,it takes away some of the fear of it,therfore, anxiety too...so in turn i feel better, not so worried and afraid!

Bren

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Iam starting to learn something..