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What am I doing wrong?

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

Deborah,

If you can see the wonder in others, you have the wonderful quality in you too. Keep in touch

ps. regarding your printer going down, my monitor changes to different colours different days, and today it's blue. My exposure exercise will be going to the computer store and trading in a non-power hub for a powered hub, and maybe looking at a monitor that won't change its mind when it feels like it

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you everyone for your help and replies. I actually dozed off yesterday late night doing my homework I was exhausted from all the panic and crying then my computer froze so I could not log back in. All youre posts helped me, thank you.

I would love to go on an antidepressant, I had horrific side effects last time I tried. I did not want even to list them I do not want to scare anyone because I dont think this would happen to anyone else. I tried Paxil lexapro and Zoloft, they all made me very very dizzy, that symptom I hate the most! I had blood in my stools, urine and I was vomiting blood, lexapro was the last I tried, I ended up in ER and the ER doctor said "just stop taking them" I tried zoloft for 6 weeks Paxil for 5 weeks and lexapro for 2 weeks, the constant nausa and dizziness was terrible, and the blood in all my vomitus urine and stools scared me to death, I went off them and within 4 days the physcial symptoms went away, I had no withdrawal from them or anything just relief to stop vomiting, I got so sick from them just the mention of them scare me to death, if someone told me there was a pill with minumal side effects and I would feel better I would probably put it in my drinking water! Its so very very depressing and scary to know and realize that the first line of treatment will not work for me and make me so sick, I am sick enought already and for some reason the antidepressants dont work and make me sick and I am very upset about that fact.

I would like to go to the Doctor and get tests but its hard for me to leave my home right now. In the last 2 months I went to ER for an ultrasound when my leg was hurting and I thought it was a blood clot, I was wrong, thank God, it was a torn ligament but I remember how scared I was, I actually wanted to run out of the hospital to feel better, I mean how strange is that? my blood pressure was so high they had to get it down before they treated me, I went to get an eye exam, and towards the end when I was paying I had to bolt out and I vomited outside beside a building, it was so mortifying, I dont think anyone saw me, so I am scared to go to the Doctor right now, they get upset when I am shaky like that, they do not like to put up with it and I dont blame them, so I am trying to get better get coping skills so I can get a mamogram and pap test and other things, I can still walk my dogs at night and I can go to close places but thats all, I cant go out I dont want to vomit again.

I having trouble printing the homework out my printer is malfunctioning so I am writing out the forms, I am doing everything right it seems perhaps its to early in the program to get relief, I have my klonopin I take, the side effects from that is not too bad just a little sedation tiredness and dry mouth, those I can handle, Why cant they make a antidepressant that does NOT make you dizzy and vomit? I am so sick now and I cant handle feeling worse. I am so hoping and praying that in a few weeks I feel better, I am losing hope and I do not want to lose hope, I am going to try to find a new therapist and I hope I dont make another mistake again, I need one that knows CBT and can help me, the one now my husband feels has made me worse. I have heard that CBT when done correctly works as well or even better than a antidepressant without the side effects so that is what my hope and goal is. I hope I can recover like these wonderful people on this great helpful site.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

I used to think I had a bladder the size of a walnut but I know for a fact that mine will hold at least just under a litre. Very unpleasantly but it will. So in my case it is nerves that keep me running to the bathroom. Also during panic attacks I used to sit on the toilet with a blanket wrapped around me freezing. I keep my bathroom hot but still I was cold. And then I would get hot some times and be outside pacing in the winter trying to cool down. It is possible to have very strange and sometimes very painful symptoms. And many mimic real problems.

It is best to have the tests done to rule real problems out. CBC to check for any possibility of cancer and more specific tests if the numbers are too high or too low. Infection and chronic disease will change these numbers too. Cholesterol and glucose are two other tests that should be done too. And of course blood pressure. Just to rule out anything physical so you can know for sure what is left is mental.

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Debora: Oh my, I feel your pain. Believe it or not, I also went through this. I thought no one could help me, the doctors, nurses just weren't helping at all. I believed I'd never get better.

I suggest you go and get a urine test and see if you have a bladder infection or not. That's a good start and I think very important. It's the not knowing which makes us worry so much. If you don't have an infection then perhaps it is because of the uterus pushing down on the bladder - as we age, we get that sometimes. Another thing I noticed with myself is when I get anxious/nervous I have to go to the bathroom more often. I think this is fairly normal - think about those going on stage, performers - they run to the bathroom lots of times before. You get so tense it squeezes everything.

You mention you can't take SSRI's. Is it because of the side effects? If you did try it, how long did you take it for? Just curious. I was in a support group before and some wanted to quit because of the side effects after only a couple of wks. Research shows that it takes 4-6 wks. and side effects usually calm down. I do know that some are extremely sensitive to SSRI's too and can't take them at all, perhaps you are in this category. Hoping you get help from your doctor about this. And I do know that one participant in our group tried three different ones. The third one worked very well for her and she was able to use it. I know that it helped me calm down so I could get some rest and my physical health back. I hope there is something else you can take just for a few months to help you through the rough time you are having. Hope you talk to your doctor about this - if you don't like your doctor, can you see another one? Maybe it's time to find someone who understands this anxiety disorder better. Where I live, you can call the local hospital and ask who knows about panic disorders and can get an appt. Might have to be on a waiting list, might not. Tell them everything you are going through and that it is needed now. Keep knocking on doors, somebody is going to listen and hear. Don't give up.

I'm sorry the techniques for relaxing aren't helping you right now. It does take practice. I remember when I first started the muscle relaxation and visualizations that it just seemed to make it worse. I was that tense! It took me about three months to really get it and feel it. So don't be too discouraged, keep the faith.

Are you trying the hot, hot bath soaks? they help relax the muscles. A shower head on "massage" helps too. I used to sit in the tub with the shower on me and cry buckets! really felt alone and that I would never get better. But I did and am hoping you will too.

I'm holding your hand,

Sunny

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

Deborah,

I've tried a lot of things over many years, and sometimes I just "plateau". People would sometimes say "it has to get worse before better".

As for frequent urination, that was something that diminished with less uneasiness. At work, crude people might even comment on it! If you're familiar with the "thought record", I use one from another program, which has "frequent urination" on it's checklist for physical symptoms, but it took years for me to notice it.

I think there's this learning curve for a lot of things, even though you might think things aren't getting better, they may be getting much better, without showing an outward sign.

As for making your son proud, I don't think you need to do that, since you gave him life, and many wonderful things, unselfishly.

Maybe some parents out there can give you better advice there, since I am eternally thankful to my parents for what they did for me, within their limitations?

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hello Debora,

If techniques aren't seeming to work for you, perhaps adding medication, while continuing to work on some techniques, could help you achieve your goals.

Members, what do you think? Has anyone ever experienced this? Have you ever felt like nothing will work for your...if so, what did you do?

Good luck Debora, and please keep us posted on how you are doing.

Samantha, Health Educator

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Hello Everyone, I was wondering if anyone was there I am home alone and having severe panic. I had another incidence of being up all night urinating constantly just like last week, only my monthly is over and I should not be having pain down there and urinating constantly, I am hoping its just anxiety and nerves, its labor day weekend and my Doctor is gone till Tuesday.

It seems like whenever I reach out for help I come up empty from professionals, my Doctor tells me to call my nurse, my nurse tells me to call my Doctor, and my therapist tells me to call my Doctor or nurse! My brother told me they do not care they just want the money, I pray that is not true, I just so much want to feel better, just even a few days without this crying and panic, if I could just get a week of reprieve maybe I could turn the corner, I just dont want it to get worse like now.

What I would like too know is what I am doing wrong with the CBT program, I am reading the toolbox, doing the forms from the sample page, I even broke out my old lucinda basset tapes from years ago and started listening to the people talk about their disorders and how they got well, that helped a little, I am taking the klonopin and breathing and praying and trying to think positive, before the panic brought on the bodily symptoms now the bodily symptoms are bringing on the panic, I cannot get out of my head something is terribly wrong in my body, like cancer or something until I can change that I dont think I can get well, I feel so sick everyday and the panics are making me weak so weak, they say they cant kill you but they are sapping any energy and hope I have, I cant take antidepressants and I do not want to go to a mental hospital {I do not want to hurt myself or others and I am not an addict or alcholic so they cant help me anyway} and the thought of going to a hospital like that fills me with terror, I want to get well at home and just get whats left of my short life back, to function again.

Am I doing the CBT wrong? is it not helping? other than a full body scan how can I get these terrible thoughts of disease and dying out of my head? I am so scared I am doing this wrong or I am the one it wont help, I so much need it to work its my last resort because I cant take antidepressants. Does anyone know what am doing wrong? any advice just to get a little better, I am afraid I am going to lose my family, please help if you can, I have given up on Doctors and nurses and therapists they dont help and say the wrong things and just take the money. I am sorry to bother anyone, thank you.

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