Hope this can be helpful? It is a email to my wife as a reply to her's involving yesterdays Christmas holiday.  It is funny in a way but does involve a lot of issues that you talk about...

I enjoyed it as well! Very much so!!!

 

I also liked and can put to use ALL of my gifts and your food was “off the hook” excellent!!!

 

I must admit I was a little nervous, tense and apprehensive about the whole deal over the last couple days as I tend to overthink everything as you know. Good in business, not so good in personal relationships!

 

For example thinking about how my mom and Dustin just generally don’t get along, not knowing how me and Kevin/ Amanda would get along, etc.. Or even Garrett & Dustin for that matter?

 

Likened I get when I am “drunk” that makes you uneasy, the above mentioned people can do or say things “perfectly straight” that makes me cringe!!!!

 

Even though things went OK, I did note a few things that were said and done that THANK GOD the receiving person just kind of ignored or didn’t acknowledge!!! LOL

 

·         My mom basically telling Dustin to his face he was gaining weight, looked fat and needed to start exercising more. Dustin DID get pissed as his face turned red but didn’t say anything and just kinda walked off. J

·         Dustin picking on his feet for several minutes before going to get his plate of food while I was talking to him. I even asked him to wash his hands and he said “I already did”. NOT after he was picking at his feet.

·         Dustin telling Garrett to grow up. Garrett was standing behind him and said “I wouldn’t talk” and with his hand compared his height to Dustin’s that is well over 6” shorter than Garrett (Dustin didn’t see that) LOL

·         My mom basically giving “pocket change” to Hannah as one of her gifts that my mom thought would be the “greatest gift of the night” for whatever reason???

·         Kevin talking **** about the company he now works for “Schnucks” in what they pay, hours and how they treat employees. He is “lucky to even have a ****ing job”, I had to bite my tong there!!!!!!!

·         Back to my mom, asking Kevin and Amanda, ““so when are the two of you going to get married? I would like to see that before I die”” LMFAO I don’t know that one was funny to me but kev handled it nicely just saying “we are working on it”. J

·         Many more perhaps trivial things that you perhaps didn’t pay attention to as I know you were busy?

 

However, ALL IN ALL, everyone did a pretty good job ignoring each other’s stupidness as I knew would transpire. I don’t know perhaps you and I did the best by choosing to stay out it all?

 

The only thing I said and rightfully so was to ask my mom to “calm down a bit” on her nonstop talking and commenting and asking Dustin to wash his hands after picking on his feet for 5+ minutes. Neither did what I asked so whatever. I got my plate before he did so no biggy here. Just don’t ask me to eat any leftovers. LOL

 

Reason that I am telling you all this is that people are people and just roll with it when they act stupid and do foolish things. Don’t get so uptight like you do some mornings with me when I act stupid and everything will end up working out great AS A WHOLE just like the Christmas party did!!! J

 

Thanks for listening, glad it is all over and am looking forward to going back working with my Panic Attack Group and having a much better, more fun and enjoyable New Year!!!!

 

Dave

 

 

 

 

 

From: Robbin 
Sent: Friday, December 26, 2014 12:33 AM
To: 'Dave G.'
Subject: THANKYOU!!
Importance: High

 

Thank you dear for an AWESOME Christmas!!! I very much enjoyed having us all together today. And thank you for my awesome gifts, loved both of them very much!!!

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you…..etc.

 

 

I do love you!!!

 

Me J

I've heard that expression, but I'm my own worst enemy. The alternative is using "could". Without being coy, I'd rather have a rebuttal that is more direct.

A friend of mine has an expression. He tells people, "don't should me" when they tell him he should do this or that. He has told me that too when I offered to much advise. As it is I was right, but stepping on his toes as he had not asked for it. I should have waited to be asked. A failing of mine I'm afraid.

How do you tell someone to stop giving advice? I'm grieving over the loss of my mom, and I keep hearing people, in religious settings, playing "therapist". What's ridiculous, is that one person's advice conflicts with another. There has to be a compromise between walking away and telling someone to go play in the traffic, but I'm vulnerable, and have been subjected to nonsensical remarks. At one point, I thought to myself, that I'd tell the next person that if needed advice, I'd call actor Robert DeNiro(played a mobster in "Analyze This") and ask for actor Billy Crystal's(played his therapist in the movie "Analyze This") telephone number.

On the first day of a snowfall, our neighbour has already thrown snow on my mother's flowers, weeks after she has passed away. Some people have no scruples. I'm going to warn her with a note. Then I'll put up a mesh, since their deck has open ballusters, so they can dump snow. If that doesn't work, I'll get a city bylaw person to speak to them. This took too much away from my parent's caregiving. I wonder if part of me is just being petty?

Thanks Sid, Things are beginning to clear up, but the world looks different now

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Also, it seems like about 4 months have passed, so it's a little more awkward...

What is a thoughtful thing to do if you find out that someone has a miscarriage, in an extended family?