Hi Davit, I can relate with you on this topic as although I had been bullied as a child and suffered the anxieties that went along with this, it wasn't until I broke my spine that I became agoraphobic, anorexic and had full blown panic attacks. I too had numerous operations over a 2 year period and found myself disassociating from everyone and everything, as I could see people judging me, this had a very negative effect on my mind & from this point in my life things snowballed, each event having a knock on effect. I am a survivor of breast cancer, a widow and all this before the age of 36.
If I did leave my home I went in my motability car and watched, listened & answered ignorant people's questions as they whispered as to why I was parking in a disabled bay, this simple action of parking my car brought on a panic attack, not because I was a bad driver, far from it, because I knew what was to ensue.
I find a lot of people in this world far too judgmental, maybe if they paid as much interest in their own lives as they did into ours they would learn to watch their tongues and realize how well off they are.
Health is something we all take for granted, and it is only when you are suddenly taken out of your comfort zone, when you can't do the simple thing's that you one day could, that it dawns on you, you will have to rely on someone for the rest of your life for certain things. This is my core dilemma, I am too stubborn to ask for help & would rather fight on myself to achieve something (but boy do I get a kick when I have done it) I could have easily done years ago.
You are an inspiration Davit, too many people have far too much time on their hands to sit in judgment of anyone with a disability, they should be taking inspiration from us.
Wishing you & Sunny a very Happy Holiday