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for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Carmie and Red,

I am glad you relaxed Carmie after the exercises that made me feel good and happy for you! I hope you do come to Florida and have a nice restful relaxing vacation, you deserve it. I know it will go well. I could not get a hold of the eye doctor today, we are having a bad storm here and I think some of the lines are down, I will try tommorow, I had a dreadful experience with my therapist today, I posted on another forum, and I did not have the strength to make any calls, he really dragged me down and now I feel helpless and hopeless and I want to get over that feeling quickly, its not positive or productive, but its hard.

I know what you mean Red about the anxiety about appts, I cant sleep the night before and I worry so, but once they are over I am happy, I am very worried about my ovaries and eyes right now, I have to "destress" from my therapy appt today it was not good and I have too end it its making me sicker and worse and thats scary. I just hope its a bad day and tommorow will be better, I just want too sleep right now its rainy and gloomy here and I cannot walk and I know a walk would help me. I pray for all of us through this journey we are on.

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2508

Debora,

Good for you for doing something positive to take your mind off your health worries..The garage sound like a good diversion.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your glasses but glad to hear about how you are ready to step into action on Monday so that you can get a new pair. This is a very positive response..As for your doctors appointments coming up this week I can sure sympathize with you on that one..I have a Dr. appt this month too..The thought of it causes me a lot of anxiety too..I have been trying to put it out of my mind so that I can do other things in the mean time that are more positive instead of worrying about my appointment that is coming up on the 17th of this month..The fears and worries do make me sick..

I will be thinking of you and Carmie as we all make it threw the challenges of this coming week.

Red....

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 373

Good morning, Debora,

Please don't ever feel like you have to apologize for what you share with us here. I think you are definitely speaking to an audience of your friends and peers and most of us have had very similar thoughts as you are having.
Last night I was really frightened by some symptoms that I was having. I listened to one of the Talaria PMR podcasts that I so often talk about - and I was too nervous to go through the exercise - I couldn't concentrate or relax. Then I tried another, one that required me to be very still and to focus on everything that I could hear in our room, and everything that I could "see", and everything that I felt. That exercise really helped me to finally relax to where I could get to sleep. It isn't easy at all but the idea of the exercise is to focus only on the present. There are so many different tools and options out there for relaxing and for dealing with panic. For me, it's now a matter of reaching into my CBT toolbelt to see what will work in a particular situation.

Please keep me posted on your appointments this week. I recognize how difficult of a challenge they present. You know I often think about giving up on my half marathon goal or even cancelling our drive to Florida - because of my fears and worries - maybe we can both try to not give up on our goals together and we'll support each other!

Peace to you this morning,
Carmie

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Vencenza,

Yes its good to have the computer back at least for awhile it acts up a lot. The garage sale was exhausting and a little stressful but it was a good diversion and distraction from my health worries for awhile. We may try in a month or so and try it again but I am not sure its a lot of work which is probably a good thing. I will record my concerns for my therapist tommorow. I hope things can go better with him. I wish you also a good week ahead, thank you for writing me.

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi Deb,

Glad to see your internet is back up and running! I imagine your yard sale kept you very busy this weekend! I hope there was some sense of lightness after getting rid of things you no longer use or need.

Do you have any other projects in mind over the next few months? Any activities you'd like to be involved in that will keep you busy and help subdue your anxiety?

I hope you have a fulfilling session with your therapist tomorrow. Remember to record any questions you may have (for him or the doctors you may see this coming week) so as not to forget to ask them.

Wishing you a good week ahead!

Vincenza, Health Educator

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Carmie,

My broadband has been acting up all weekend, I keep getting booted off my computer I hope I can post this correctly. I do understand when you said how anxious you're son is to get on the computer I have that too here my son loves his computer!

You are probably watching the SuperBowl. I am staying kind of clear of my guys right now, they are eating hot wings and the smell is bothering me. I had a mixed weekend, we had a garage sale, I thought throwing myself into a project would "distract" myself from myself but it actually caused more stress! We only made about thirty dollars and it was exhausting and tiring and in the process I lost my prescription glasses! I hope they did not fall in one of the boxes and someone bought them for fifty cents or something, I tore the house apart looking for them, they cost a hundred dollars, I am going to call the optomologist tommorow and see if I can get a replacement, I really need my glasses to see, I am due next month for a follow-up and I am afraid they will just tell me to come in for another exam, and its hard because they close at five and I dont have transportation till after six pm, I hope they will just order them, last exam I was very nervous and got sick afterwards, I have been very upset about these glasses and my hubby is mad because I lost them, I am upset too, they are necessary.

I do not know if I can handle, if I can even get a ride, to TWO appts next week, I wanted to go to ER to have a transvaginal ultrasound because of the ovarian cancer symptoms, I guess its better to get it done at ER than a GYN so if I hear "bad news" if I pass out or freak out or my pressure sky rockets I will be at a place where they can help me stabalize, I am so afraid to go, and I am terrified the results will be bad, and I have to do it alone, I guess I will get my glasses first then worry about the woman problem, one thing at a time I guess, I need to do bills and need too see, I am using old reading glasses right now, I am very nervous today, Carmie I am sorry, I guess its shows through my writing, I am trying too calm down..

Thank you for writing those symptoms due to anxiety, that helped me Carmie, I do have most of them, how I wish I NEVER EVER read bleching and gas and lower stomach pain can be colon or ovarian cancer, I have to be very very careful what I read, Somehow I must muster the courage to go to an appt, but I know its going to be very hard, the body symptoms have been bad this weekend, nausea, headache, eyeaches, stomach pain etc.....usually they hit me one at a time now I got the them all at the same time, and yes I know the nerves I making them worse, fear of the future and unknown and of a sickness that I will have too battle alone, to be sick is horrible but not having anyone nearby for help and support is frightning.

I am going to do some PMR now and try too calm down, my therapist comes tommorow but I dont know what help he can offer, my Aunt said he cannot really "pull the fear and symptoms out of me" would'nt that be nice? a magic wand but I know thats not possible. I am sorry I sound so nervous, how am I going to handle a terminal illness when I cannot even handle panic? I think that scares me that I will not be strong enough. I have to start thinking positive, hard with all these symptoms.

I am glad you had a good run Carmie, and beat down the anxiety, and how wonderful you got through the meeting!! How awesome and great, good for you! You are getting better and I am so happy, I hope I can get better too like you and Sunny and Davit and all the rest of the wonderful people on this site!!

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi Debora,

I have to be brief because my son is very anxious (hate to use that term) to use the computer. I wanted to see if you had read the post that Ashley wrote about Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Of particular note were its symptoms:

Commons symptoms are:
- High pulse and respiration rates
- Chronic diarrhea
- A need to urinate frequently
- Chronic digestive problems
- Trouble sleeping
- Easily irritated

Some of those sounded familiar and I thought that it might help you to see this list.

I was very anxious after my run tonight but things have returned to normal, thankfully. I also had to be in a meeting room with about 1000 other people. I asked my teammates if they minded if I sat on the aisle, near the exit, but we ended up having to move. I made it through the meeting okay! It's just after my long runs that I sometime get anxious and dizzy.

Must go now - my son's patience is wearing thing. I will leave you with this thought, something my mom always tells me: "God only gives us what we can handle"

Peace to you!

for 12 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Carmie and Everyone,

Carmie I wanted to say I am sorry I wrote Bren a post late last night and I was writing you one on another forum and I lost it and it never posted to you, for a few hours the "broadband" was down again and I could not get online till just now, I really hate when that happens, we have DSL and all everything seemed to be connected correctly, my son worked on it this morning, I lost my entire post too Carmie and Donna! I am so sorry, this darned computer is acting up more and more these days!?

I am supposed too have a garage sale tommorow with several neigbors and usually I love to plan them, I love to go to them or have them, this time I am very very nervous about it and I do not know why? I got most of it together, I am trying to distract myself by doing other things so I hope all goes well, it was a lot of work but sometimes that is good for me to do.

I am still getting those pelvic pains, they seemed to let up for a few days and today they are back, I dread having a transvagional ultrasound, but it looks like I may have too, I had a few when I was pregnant but that was for a very good cause, now I am terrified of cancer or what it wrong down there, we found out this morning, my husband took off work for a orthopetic appt he needs a knee operation, probably a entire replacement on one knee then in the future the other, I got SO upset, how are we going to manage with a special-needs son, if he needs surgery and so do I? I am so afraid of going to the Doctor and he will say he will have to operate, the fear itself is overwhelming but without family nearby or friends who would help us recooperate? I wish I had never read that article saying belching and passing gas are signs of ovarian cancer! I mean who would think innocent symptoms like that would be a deadly cancer? and the pain is making the fear worse, I am trying to ignore and not dwell as Davit say, but its so hard, its not the pain that is so horrible I can live with that, its "whats behind it" Somehow someway I must get too the doctor soon, but I am almost too afraid to hear the words, I fear I will breakdown completely and be no help to my husband when he can not walk, I am trying to relax and not dwell but its so very hard.

Well nothing can be done I guess this weekend, I just want to get through the garage sale and super bowl sunday, my hubby and son are looking forward too that and I dont want to ruin it. I hope its just IBS, or nerves, dont you all ever wish you could just "turn off" you're body and brain? does that make sense? Thanks for listening, I am sorry I sound afraid, its the fear.

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