Hi G: I don't know if this will help or not. In my early days of this disorder, I used to have those palpatations which lasted for hours and were so exhausting. Sometimes they were at night and lasted for hours until I finally fell asleep around 4 a.m. And yes, I was frightened too, thinking I would never get better. I had been prescribed propranolol also but did not like the side effects. My anxious thoughts and fears just continued.
The answer for me was an SSRI which finally stopped them. I am not advocating you take this medication, just saying what helped me. After the SSRI (which helped me get balanced again) I was able to study CBT and get results. I really pampered myself with lots of rest, good nutrition, and a bit of exercise. All of these things were necessary for me on my road to healing. I started to pay attention to my likes and dislikes (which were okay, no judging nec essary). Started to figure out what I needed and wanted and finally accepted that I was "worth it". I started to love myself, flaws and all.
CBT is a journey of self discovery. What makes you tick? What do you need to be happy? How can you reach your goals? And yes, you do need goals, small and big. Goals keep you on the right path of your personal journey. Goals are not general things, they are specific. You can have short-term goals (daily goals, or weekly, such as a walk around the block every day or a coffee date with a friend once a week) or long-term goals (such as a summer vacation camping for a couple of wks. in the great outdoors, or a flight to visit family sometime in the months to come). Once you know what your goal is, then you can figure out the steps you need to take to reach them. Small steps are okay. I often use visualization to reach a goal. I see myself starting the goal and seeing it through right to the end, successfully.
I read in your post a new goal would be to get through one day without anxiety. Well, I would try and figure out what it is that I have to do to reach this goal. What steps might I take to get this relaxation feeling going again? What absorbs me so much that I can distract myself? Do I get enough rest, do I eat properly an so on. Have I been practicing and doing my relaxation exercises every day, box breathing, etc. whether I need them or not. I find doing relaxation ex. early in the a.m. prepares me physically and mentally for the day. And doing them again in the evening prepares me for the night. Some may think you only use these exercises when you start to feel agitated. Not so for me, I use them as one would do yoga. It's a prescription for well-being.
Hope something above may be of help, hang in there!
Sunny
